curls.

i like this photo!!! it don't look like a mirror right?? i love my cam! hahah

i look OLDD....
i think this pic is cool.. hahha.. my bro asked me how i took the photo when im holding the camera like that.. ><

so? curls or straight??

4I chalet!!!

before wild wild wet!!
patience pple.. hahah.. i like Sj's n the 2nd row's pose
(chou + mei ) 女
pyro.shan.me!!! yawns..
Kamilah's sis!!! KE AI RIGHT??!!!

my precious darlinggs.. (:

its hard to fit everyone in since siong's ard. hahha! dun kill me~ im kidding!! (:
haha!! ys ahh... dun so fierce can.. LOL
memories. fadin? no man.. its fresh, coloured, glossy.. kept in my heart
this is the coolest thing abt chooyeow's phone!

Way Back into Love

Artist: Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore
Song: Way Back Into Love
Haley:Ive been living with a shadow over head
Ive been sleepin with a cloud above my bed
ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just cant seem to move on

Hugh:I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just incase I ever need them again someday
Ive been setting aside time,
to clear a little space in the cornners of my mind

chorus:All I want to do is find a way back into love
I cant make it through without a way back into love
ohh

Haley:I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
Ive been searching but I just dont see the signs
I know that its out there
Theres got to be something for my soul somewhere

Hugh:I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody to get me through the night
I could use some direction, and I'm open to your suggestions

ChrousAll I want to do is find a way back into love
I cant make it through without a way back into love
and If I open my heart again
I guess Im hopin you'll be there for me in the end

Haley:There are moments when I dont know if its real
or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration, not just another negotiation

Chorus:All I want to do is find a way back into love
I cant make it through without a way back into love
and If I open my heart to you
Im hopin you'll show me what to do
and if you help me to start again
you know that I'll be there for u in the end

*love the song, love the movie.
love the MUSIC and love the LYRICS*

MATH

i have a stupid math paper later. so just bless me with all the knowledge which i dun have and need(which is practically everything) hah.

wheres my motivation!!!!????

okiee... i'll go update my wretch soon!! (:

and lastly. the end was marked! (: ^^
jiayou pple! for mids and whtever there is..

pieces of me.

Father's Day 07'

HAHA!! my dad fell asleep(he can sleep anywhere.LOL) he dint even wake at the flash.

oohh.. hes awake.. hahaha

Ah Ma and daddy.. at New Park Hotel.. the food there is WOW. hahah

Candid of my Uncle. hahaha.

ME and MUMMY!

hahah. i left out my bro and cuzins becoz they came late.. (: yummy yummy! i wanna go eat again!

太多的感触。。
字迹烙印在纸上。
每一画都带着泪水。
每一行都显示着寂寞。

诺言变成谎言。
奇迹不再出现。
单纯的世界里
也不会有你的踪影

沉默的背后，
隐藏着大大的痛
没人会了解
只能独自承受。

《爱情经纪约》

假扮的人生
戏份已经落幕的青春
还站在后台等
等下齣戏的对白
如何继续扮演我们
我默背剧本
试图先行找出
那个对的人。

weird.

weird.... its just so weird.. hahah
but nvm...
and ok.. many many things feel so weird...
im living in a weird world with many weird pple...
and i believe im turning weird too....
W.E.I.R.D

anyway. hahah... im running away.. i dunno why..
(: bleah. keep running!!

my 2.4 passed!!!! i missed GOLD by 21 SECS....yeh yehh
hahah....

OKAYY!!! JIAYOU jiayou JIAYOU...

im 100% BLACK

PW totally sucks..

yes. as wht i just said. PW is nt something u'll wanna do, not over a thousand dollars. trust me.
ok.. maybe its just me, i dunno.. but my friends are all experiencing problems too.

so far, i've got no idea how to list my contributions, nt becoz i did too much i cant count but becoz i think i cant find any... other den editing one or few sentence in my latest gpp.

i've gt no idea wht the project is actually about..... and... given my puny brains which makes it harder for me to comprehend everything... i cant do anything!!!!!

arggghhh.... i'll try to do the GPF the next time... yes.... so... if any of the members are seeing this...... please do not finish or do majority of it.. coz by the time iwanna do. its like....everything is done. LOL..

grrrrr... im gonna take 2.4 later.. in like 45 mins??!! bless me....

and... somehow.. he gave me those eyes.... maybe he've seen it before.. hao diu lian ahhhh!!!!

hahahha....

jiayou!!!

* i slept in kellett's class again!!! so bad*


*i'm forgetting him. yes. I WILL! *

i'mreallypissedbyhim.

this is like my second time that i've ever got so pissed...... and both times with the trouble of proposals...
argghhhh..... stupid pck.
i'm so tired of repeating the situation again and again...so..i shant do any more typing or whtever explaination about wht evil things that pck did and said to us....

hahhas.. ok. i just got a new nick name today. hamster. if u wanna know why, look at my phone wall paper.. >< actually i seriouslly think i look more like frog..and it was meant to be a froggy effect... and.... im not a girl, not yet a woman. NOT xiao mei mei!!!!!! TSK. lol... im 16+++!

today's interview was screwed. but its okay.. not like i haven screw anything up before.... and my whole day was practically not my day.... bad things happening this and that......

so. lets JIAYOU!

it ended.

yeah.. SYF ended.
all the tears too....
grats to CO.
though we shld be feelin happy for the school..
but the evil root in me tells me its nt good for the choir...
i cried so hard yesterday... but not because of the results..
because of my SL not giving up on me, our conductor's hard work, our senior's hardowork.. and the WHOLE CHOIR'S hardwork...
JANICE! U RAWK! THANKYOU AGAIN! HAH
yeahh.....and angela too.. sorry for wetting ur shoulder again and again. hah..
and yesterday...was the worst i ever felt.....
my eyes felt really hot... my face was really hot..... and i could feel the hot air around me......
but...... goosebumps were all over and i was shivering becoz i was feelin so cold....
my head was throbbing like mad.. and my nose was so blocked.....
but thanks to the really cute medicine and faith ( who accompanied me to the doc ) ... i got well immediately after the medication.. and the doctor was really acting cool in a really cute way.
hahah
ohh.. and guess wht... i've got 3 chalets in june... when i have soooo much work to catch up with
i totally do not understand chapters 5 -7 for math.... and even 1 - 4 if u throw me questions.. i wun noe how to do...

so dead....... but lets see how long i can survive.... hahah.. jiayou pple!!!!
choir is a mugger cca.. LOL....fellow choir members pls come to C4 after 4 if u wanna mug everyday (:
sing as one, work as one. ^^

insecured and very depressed

i dun wanna blog much abt why i'm depressed, cause i think its rather stupid and i don't really know why i'm feeling depressed too... yeahh.. i dont smoke.. so it wasnt the depressant...

okayy.... so i was really down today... in fact most of the time recently..
so i've been wanting to cry out loud..... but i had to laugh it off...
so i'm in disguise, trying to hide the loneliness i'm going through......
and so i gave up...... i'm just going to let it all out later...
but i guess i'm just an invisible man....



SIGHS. IM AFRAID I CANT SING WELL, I'M AFRAID I CANT EXPRESS MY CHARACTER WELL.. ( coz even in real life... i dun even express myself well ) IM AFRAID OF THE ACCUMULATED THINGS I HAVE TO RUSH AND DO......AND ALL THE WORK, I'VE GOT NO KNOWLEDGE TO COMPLETE THEM, I'M SO AFRAID TO BE ALONE, SO AFRAID THAT I'M ALWAYS OUT OF THE CROWD, SO AFRAID THAT I HAVE TOO MUCH FLAWS TO SHOW PPLE WHT I'M GOOD AT ( i guess theres nth im good at except for whinning and ranting and emoing over here )SO AFRAID OF THE INSECURITY. SO AFRAID OF MYSELF. IM JUST VERY AFRAID OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD.
IM SIMPLY, A-F-R-A-I-D

S A V E M E

RETREAT

retreating, i am.
i tried, but failed.
i'll try again.

where does the problem lie?
is it in me?
or wht?
i seriously don't know.

i thought it was over,
the misunderstandings and all..
but somehow, the scar was still vivid.
always reminding us of something.

i tried to look at you,
but your eyes never cross mine.
i tried to talk to you,
but your ears were somehow closed.

i see you sad,
i wanna help,
i tried to,
but,
all you could see and feel,
was someone else.

how i wish things would go back,
to the first day we met.
where we teared,
not because of parting
but because we can't bear to.

so i just pray,
that soon,
the clouds will clear
and we'll see the light again.
and we'll be happy again......

i just wanna let you people know,
i'm always here whenever you guys need to talk.
and that i'm here for you, just like she's there.
just look with your heart,
and you'll find me....

for now, lets work hard together.
and pray that all our hard work and energy we've put in.
be rewarded with the GOLD everyone wants and expects of us.

JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU

- im still depressed.

so much to do, so little time.

Is everyone rushing PI now??? Are you rushing tutorials?? Are you cramping pages and pages of information in to your brain that is only filled with DuLus WaNas and Geishas???

Lets Jiayou fellow choir members.. and my friends in JCs and Polys.... the "second last" phase of education.. lets chiong it over...

and people.. its 9 more days.... just less than 30 hours of practices... and.. choir'll perform a miracle for ms ong..

i'm rather excited now.. cant wait for the choral exchange and gain the precious comments and knowledge that Mr Nelson Kwei will be giving us.

however, the DEADlines (tmr) for PI , Chinese Essay , History (4 essays) and 3 math tutorials are breathing down my neck...

i have only about 20% knowledge of what we should have for school.. i'm worried but, i cant control the natural shutting of my eyelids in every lectures and tutorials.

my family's been complaining to me everyday, so the more for the need to prove to them that i'm not wasting my time and that we can be a GOLD choir.

at times, i do feel displaced.

but, i believe, i'll tide over this insecurity...

my highly sensitve character is not something i can change over night,

but each day, i feel it growing.....

and with each day, i feel worse...

each day, the tall walls surrounding me grows to be more threathening.....

patient of the day

my body cldnt take it. dint go school today.
however, going for choir later..
and the phglem is like clogging up my throat and nasal passages.
god, u aint helping.

anyway.. i was highly pissed myself...
after the consulation, i went down to the pharmacy, to wait for my medicine (fyi, its my first visit to a poly clinic ) .. so i sat there....waiting waiting waiting.... an hour passed and the clinic was practically empty.. and.. my number had not been called yet... finally.. i asked faith and she told me that i had to register or do something before getting my medicine. so... i approached the staff and she told me i had to leave my prescription in the box before they can prescribe for me. so in short, i waited for more than an hour in vain.....

yawns.. i feel so dumb......and wasted my precious one hour.... gahhh.....

scream scream scream... im done with the screaming.....

now..back to work..

sick.

no, i'm not feeling well at all.
my throat feels swollen, my whole body is aching, the symptoms of fever and flu are making me feel bad...
and... if i were to go school tmr, i'll have to finish my history, chinese and everything.. this means.. no sleep at all...

yeah. so i've decided to take a break.. but i still have to go for choir at 5 tmr...

today's sectionals was cool, alto corrected 2 mistakes that we've always been making...

ammy rocks. (:

ALTO ROCKS (:

but.
am i happy? are we happy?

why do we need to study?? to acheieve good grades and get a good job so that we can have money and we'll be happy? is that all?? if it is, are happy now? since all the things we do are supposed to make us happy in the very end.. but what about now? why are we wasting our youth in sighs? the souless eyes i see of many people, the eyes i see in the mirror, it reflects unhappiness, tiredness and even signs of giving up....

I'M TIRED
are there no more other alternatives? do we have to live under this spiral of silence?

but for now, i guess this is all i can do, to mug and complete tutorials, try to get the notes and timing right... and..... live like a robot...... programmed to work under this kinda condition........
sometimes, i really wish i was one...at least, i can just get myself the strongest charger to charge myself....

however, i guess the only remedy for me now..is ample sleep...

yes... i guess i will comply.. soon.

sick.

no, i'm not feeling well at all.
my throat feels swollen, my whole body is aching, the symptoms of fever and flu are making me feel bad...
and... if i were to go school tmr, i'll have to finish my history, chinese and everything.. this means.. no sleep at all...

yeah. so i've decided to take a break.. but i still have to go for choir at 5 tmr...

today's sectionals was cool, alto corrected 2 mistakes that we've always been making...

ammy rocks. (:

ALTO ROCKS (:

but.
am i happy? are we happy?

why do we need to study?? to acheieve good grades and get a good job so that we can have money and we'll be happy? is that all?? if it is, are happy now? since all the things we do are supposed to make us happy in the very end.. but what about now? why are we wasting our youth in sighs? the souless eyes i see of many people, the eyes i see in the mirror, it reflects unhappiness, tiredness and even signs of giving up....

I'M TIRED
are there no more other alternatives? do we have to live under this spiral of silence?

but for now, i guess this is all i can do, to mug and complete tutorials, try to get the notes and timing right... and..... live like a robot...... programmed to work under this kinda condition........
sometimes, i really wish i was one...at least, i can just get myself the strongest charger to charge myself....

however, i guess the only remedy for me now..is ample sleep...

yes... i guess i will comply.. soon.

too much tears.

if you are not in for rants... i strongly advise you to click the cross at the top right hand corner.

lemme start by this morning, i was supposed to transfer info from yesterday's sectionals to wen qi... and i failed to do so by waking late today... next, when i woke up, i realised i'm having a bad throat and the new ulcer (due to late nights) was causing me much pain. i've actually lost my voice since the hectic schedules began.

there was supposed to be auditions today.... which i totally have no confidence in passing. but, angela persuaded me to bring the gown, so yeah, thanks! hah. in the end... there was no audition.. but the appealed cases and the guys went through audition.. and its freakin scary i heard. The standards were really high ( for me at least)

then, after some whiney whiney moments about the audition, we went to prepare for the rehearsals for college day. The rehearsal in LT4 was kinda bad, tres cantos were quite screwed up..coz halfway.. there was silence where everyone stopped singing and making the noises.

could tell that ms ong was really pissed throughout the whole day. and the mishap didnt make it any better. the college song in the hall was the worst thing that happened to me. and a few others. the band was set out to be against us, they were blasting, trying to cover our voices. c'mon, they are using instruments, we are using our vocals... the first time round, i heard ms ong look straight front. and she had this solemn face while she was demo-ing, so i got the misconception that we have to be serious and look solemn, so, for the first time, i was looking straight and singing in a serious tone. the second time round, ms ong came and said have more expressions, so i thought, okay, maybe its okay to smile. so , during the second round, i was smiling abit. but when my eyes met her, she had this solemn look again, so i though we need to be solemn.. so i refrained from smiling. afterwhich, we went backstage and ms ong spoke to us. a rather demoralizing talk and a depressing one..halfway through, we were called back for another round of singing. the last time, mr kwek came up to us and told us to smile. he said we looked tired ( duh.. ) and souless. hah. okayy... so considering the fact that we are supposed to look vibrant. during the 3rd round, i was smiling and singing with passion.. for all the songs, i've been trying to blast despite the fact that my gastric was acting up halfway and aching madly...

and i guess it wasnt enough? so much for the pushing of my diaphgram at the expense of puking in the end... she said we werent putting in enough effort, and poor learning attitude and we looked disinterested. she says she'll see how well we do in the auditions ( me and si xia? ) coz the rest of the 3 already went through audition.

i don't mind her pinpointing or reprimanding me if i didn't try. but, it kinda disappoints me when i've actually tried and i gt wronged for something i've not really done. (well, i did sing and smile) i'm a libra, take not of the libra symbol, a weigh, representing fair and just. libra-ns are super sensitive and really cannot be wronged....

so i was super shagged and want to prove something, me, jac and angela stayed back to learn the music theories about the rests and stuffs.. and learn some techniques.. all thanks to JANICE n Theresa. thanks gals, if u guys are reading. hah. yeahh... managed to learn some stuffs... and i was super tired and went home..

when i reached the station, i waited for the train and boarded.... i was brain dead and my eyes were partially closed.. i was longing for a sit and surprisingly, the train i got on was quite empty... i just clambered to one of the seats and started to doze off.... and after 3 stops..i was preparing to get off.... and suddenly i realise the announcer said " next station, farrer park station" i got a shock and.. yeahh.. i got on the wrong train........ sighs...this explains the no. of seats..coz the train towards punggol are usually packed with pple.... in the end, i got home ard 11.... even my head's aching now......

when i get home from choir everytime, i always wish for my family to say smth like jiayou for choir k? instead of them always asking me to quit... but i guess its hard for them to understand that i don't wanna just give up. even though i know they care for my studies and me, but.... by asking me to quit ( and knowing i will not) does not help.. and somehow it makes things worse... i know they've shown some support by coming for the concert. but still... if they gimme moral support and understanding... i believe it'll be soo much better for everyone... well.. hopefully they can.. however, i do feel bad honestly.. about not spending time with them.. and everytime i come home, i get really tired and frustrated when they kept pursuing the mundane things... sorry for the bad attitude and everything... but im trying hard to smile more.....so that they wun have to worry so much. that time they told me, " i havent seen you smile ever since you joined choir" i immediately broke down.... no idea why.. but i've been tearing alot lately.... and ive always wetted angela's shoulder! thanks and sorry. hah

thanks alot really to the gals... thanks for the support.. especially janice.. whos been going the extra mile for us.... and to angela, jac, nicholyn, everyone...for being there....

treasure you guys...and my family too (:

P.S. i'll forget today's thingy.... coz i still love ms ong... shes just stressed like everyone else..
p.p.s Poh boon highly motivated me.. i nearly cried...
P.P.P.S : GOLD!!!!!!

first but not very first

hey'all!! guess where i'm launching this blog?!!! the school com lab! hahahs..
aint that interesting?! hahahs... we got kicked out of mr kellett's class because we dint have the history file. i thought it was monday...so i was shocked!! O.O hahhas.. okayy.. not convincing enough.. oh anyway.. if you're thinking im lazy or wht, i had 62 posts in my old blog! so im starting a public one..to share with everyone! im NOT a lazy blogger! so... hopefully this time round i'll update more?! (okay.. this line is so familar. haha )

alrighty... get back after im done with the design! (: