dead, revived, dead again.

been so caught up with school work and choir...
sleep, i've been missing it all..
other than dozing off and not realizing it until someone pokes me.
is that sleeping? how can i stop myself from sleeping when i don't even know when i've alrdy dozed off...
its not simple for those who do not understand..
i believe everyone has different minds, different thinking, different body conditions..
please do not show that you understand when u you truly don't.
coz im confused myself.
i need my own revelation... sighhhh

crisis moment. is this?
a time when u think that life is nothing but a process of death..
when all the things you go through now, all the unhappiness, all the laughter, all the tears..
all the sleepless nights.. all the As and "Papers"... all boils down to nothing in the end.. does it?
sorry, but you're reading a cynic's blog. so parden my pessimism here... prolly end after my As... which is dumb ranting now, coz i know that after As... these entries will only be seen as nothing...
really.... when u pass the certain stages in life.. crucial it may seem at that point of time... but in the end, it dosent really matter...
im just tired.. and blabbering nonsense.. again.....
ok... my bed's calling out to me... tata~

pissed

screw lit essays. screw time. screw sleep.

depressing

i'm just stupid and slow.
ok, maybe not the stupid part
but definitely slow.
it seems only the shans understand how i feel
coz at least we are of the same standards....
and its really exhausting to keep trying,
trying real hard to catch up,
to understand,
to not fall asleep so often.
but apparently the grades still don;t show..
it feels like its just stupidity on my side.
that i stumbled into the wrong world.
fell off the parallels into this odd world that i don't belong
is this just tentative? i hope.
that i can return to my real world soon,
or perhaps, be aided to live through this place,
another place that i do not know of.

those days

really miss those days..
when we sat down and talked for hours.
even though today was just for that short hour..
i think it really means alot.
it is not how much time u have,
but how u spend that every minute
like how it tells about life
it dosent matter how long you live,
but how you live it.
whether u chose to paint it with colours in that short moment.
or keep it blank forever.
i miss those days...
we'll find time out again wunt we??
=D

went to play bball with the 2 bros just now...
feel so intimidated by that near 190 sch team player..
and another 170 (hahah!) great 3 pointer..
seriously.. the 3 point line is dammnnn far away from me...
hahaha. but okay la.. still managed to get a few 2 pointers in. >.O
=3 and i cant do anymore pull ups. not even one. which i could do before..
gahhhhh.. i should go on a diet. i've been saying this since sec 4
blame it on the birthday wish 10 years ago.
i was like paper. cant blame me for wishing to grow fat. HAHAH
now i got it, and im complaining. hahaa. i shld wish to slim down to perfect figure.
cant be wrong now. =D thts why pple say "becareful wht u wish for"

and. hahaa, i feel so much better with integration now.
even tho i cant finish the tutorial
but...... i did stay up to try..

i still want to watch my 27 dresses and PS. I Love You.. plus one more!!! KungFu Guan Lan!!!!!
hahaa, and i think alot more other movies... i cant watch feast of love!!! OMG... why!!!!???
no time for movies anyway... but the 3 movies will be must watch
=D aight, im yawning alrdy...going off soon..

+ the moment u step onto this world, beating the first beat of your heart.
we are all destined to die. +

so cherish every moment. coz every single moment, u are waiting for death..

hahaha... i feel so pessimistic, but its how i remind myself to enjoy myself... so i do not spend the waiting days in sorrows. yup! jiayou everyone!!!! =D

This I swear.

You're there by my side
In every way
I know that you would not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
I'm wondering how I ever got by
Without you in my life to guide me
Where ever I go the one thing that's true
Is everything I do I do for you
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
So whenever you get there
Just reach out for me
I'll never let you down my love
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there This I swear


i know this sounds too cheesy and phony and whatever terms pple can think of.
but cliche as it sounds... i think its really sweet and all...
and this kind of love..... is extinct.
nonetheless, i still love this song....
i get goosebumps whenever i hear it...
(not becoz of aircon or anything.. )
and yes. this will be played on my wedding.
(that is if im not left on the shelf or smth )

cny

happy cny pple!!! =D
dun get too fat!!! hahaha
and i should really start dieting...
everyones saying i've grown fatter...
gahhhh.... yes yes.. i have.
no offense for those who feels offended...
coz my fats are hidden under the sch u...
yupp.. so. ahaa.... 148 is fat!!

yay. and i passed 2.4 screening with my period!!!
hahaha!!!! i thought i was dying on the 4th round already...
last year was 16 secs to gold ( thanks to my ipod. coz i dropped it along the way while listening )
thank god im not a guy... =D sorry to the men out there.

watched cj7 yest. with my uncle, cousins and bro.
cj7 ( the pet itself ) is damnnnn cute!!!!
oh well.. i believe every kid has their imaginary toy/friend that they wished to have.
something perfect and super natural to satisfy human greed and desires..
gonna catch 27 dresses and kungfu dunk with the cuzins as well
and ps. i love you with the singles club.
its really really a must watch.......
i will watch it even if its the only movie i can watch for the whole year.
=D the plot is that nice.
and i wonder howmany tissues i'll use up..
oh... and its amazing how i can tear in stephen chow's movie. HAHAHA
the hospital scene is really heart wrenching...

gahhhh... i've gotta go do my tutorial ... ms seah will be breathing down our necks if i dun...
gambatte!!! fighting!! jiayou!!
=DDD