moment of ephiphany

when will my revelation come?
where i find my answers to the many questions and doubts.
hungry for answers, hungry for realization.
i wonder why my puny brain works so differently from others,
not faster, but much much slower.. retardation, i often call it. some name it blureness, whichever way you want it.. im just S-L-O-W.
nice record i broke today, first time in my whole entire life where my econs test didn't rank last.
( i always did. never fail to not.. ) not something to be proud of. but i'm a little glad.. just a little, i made that really milli nano "improvement", "its just one mark, you're as bad" she said. used to it...shes also used to the "dumb-script = dumb grades " kinda thing for me, so she didnt even bother to ask me what happen... yupp. but none prolly know how it feels, coz sometimes i don't get the feelin myself. i think my posts are always so dark and depressing... sorry ><
i know readers prolly have that " cmon, i know how u feel and u are not dumb.." kinda expression and thought in them already, but seriously, don't say you understand how it feels to anyone, because, its really hard or rather impossible to really feel the same way as the subjected person. its really not the same, because we are who we are, and no one can replace anything about who we are... its our IDENTITY. (wow, am i doing too much literature? - i think i did. hah)
literature is an amazing subject. and mrs teo really really enlighten us. ( as quoted from faith) but i do agree strongly as well. that half an hour is really so productive, so much more than the prev hour of lesson. HAHA. woops. everyone knows who or what i'm talking about.. but i really don't wanna be that direct ( no offense )

the week's been really stressing and hectic.. with what? so far 3 choir practices alrdy?! (Mon, tues and wed. ) wow right... and guess where we find time??? hahaha, nawhhh... its hiding well, just can't find it.. TIME!! where are you?!.... aight.. i know i know.. the time im squandering on blogging... but aint it a release, a stress reliever, so that i can unload some of it and walk off with lighter weights on my shoulders?

was talking to mx just now... been ages since i talked to her like that.. and about guys.. wow.. leen talks about guys now. hahahaa. sorry, just that i'm talking so much on girls that people really will question my sexual orientation. FYI. yes im 100% straight. as straight as parallel lines.. hetero. normal and very sane. just a little prejudiced against man, and constant stereotyping. woops. sorry to the guys out there. hah. school work took such a toll on me that i actually forgotten everything about bgf and stuffs.. leaving me with no time to think about anyone,.. and when someone ask.. do you even eyecandy any guys... it was hard for me to cough out an answer... hahah! sorry not that im saying no one looks good or im in any position to s ay anything ( ok, i look abit less than fuggly but near there. ) ->> notice... the intensity of ugliness is decreasing... dr/dt) hahaha. no pun intended. aight.. back ta the topic.. yeahh.. im just rather numb...............towards L-O-V-E.

ok... ive been getting on for long........... and all of you are prolly really really bored and dozing off.. (that is if anyone is reading.. ) i desperately want $$$$.. oh oh!! great great news! i'm going for Pillowman!!! yayness la!!! finally... i've been wanting to watch since forever...its gonna be great.... so.. pls pple get the tixs if u havent. it rocks totally =D ... i keep digressing..my train of consciousness is really like stephen dedalus... sama sama.. LOL... as i was sayingg... i needed $$$$ to shop!!!! hah. i wanna go for a kinno spree... getting all the books on hot shelves... getting nice notebooks. ( i really like them. for their everything.. i never get bored of them ) i need a new wallet. a cardigan ( not for u dom!) , and many many many other stuffs.... >< and i've been spending all my money on food!!! dammit..... growing horizontally.. i feel like a compressed can of food. hahaha! weird imagery and metaphor. ignore me...

ok.. ive been rambling on for god knows why ( and i don't )...... making nonsensical statements and im just typing weird stuffs.. freaking the hell out of my friends.. yes.. this is stil eileen.. no one kidnapped her... no worries ( even tho u guys may want it to happen O.O ) hahhaah.
ok... i think u get wht i mean...so... gotta go zonk off to my bed alrdy...

nightey nights pple!!
loads of <3
MWAHH
CIAO!!

dead, revived, dead again.

been so caught up with school work and choir...
sleep, i've been missing it all..
other than dozing off and not realizing it until someone pokes me.
is that sleeping? how can i stop myself from sleeping when i don't even know when i've alrdy dozed off...
its not simple for those who do not understand..
i believe everyone has different minds, different thinking, different body conditions..
please do not show that you understand when u you truly don't.
coz im confused myself.
i need my own revelation... sighhhh

crisis moment. is this?
a time when u think that life is nothing but a process of death..
when all the things you go through now, all the unhappiness, all the laughter, all the tears..
all the sleepless nights.. all the As and "Papers"... all boils down to nothing in the end.. does it?
sorry, but you're reading a cynic's blog. so parden my pessimism here... prolly end after my As... which is dumb ranting now, coz i know that after As... these entries will only be seen as nothing...
really.... when u pass the certain stages in life.. crucial it may seem at that point of time... but in the end, it dosent really matter...
im just tired.. and blabbering nonsense.. again.....
ok... my bed's calling out to me... tata~

pissed

screw lit essays. screw time. screw sleep.

depressing

i'm just stupid and slow.
ok, maybe not the stupid part
but definitely slow.
it seems only the shans understand how i feel
coz at least we are of the same standards....
and its really exhausting to keep trying,
trying real hard to catch up,
to understand,
to not fall asleep so often.
but apparently the grades still don;t show..
it feels like its just stupidity on my side.
that i stumbled into the wrong world.
fell off the parallels into this odd world that i don't belong
is this just tentative? i hope.
that i can return to my real world soon,
or perhaps, be aided to live through this place,
another place that i do not know of.

those days

really miss those days..
when we sat down and talked for hours.
even though today was just for that short hour..
i think it really means alot.
it is not how much time u have,
but how u spend that every minute
like how it tells about life
it dosent matter how long you live,
but how you live it.
whether u chose to paint it with colours in that short moment.
or keep it blank forever.
i miss those days...
we'll find time out again wunt we??
=D

went to play bball with the 2 bros just now...
feel so intimidated by that near 190 sch team player..
and another 170 (hahah!) great 3 pointer..
seriously.. the 3 point line is dammnnn far away from me...
hahaha. but okay la.. still managed to get a few 2 pointers in. >.O
=3 and i cant do anymore pull ups. not even one. which i could do before..
gahhhhh.. i should go on a diet. i've been saying this since sec 4
blame it on the birthday wish 10 years ago.
i was like paper. cant blame me for wishing to grow fat. HAHAH
now i got it, and im complaining. hahaa. i shld wish to slim down to perfect figure.
cant be wrong now. =D thts why pple say "becareful wht u wish for"

and. hahaa, i feel so much better with integration now.
even tho i cant finish the tutorial
but...... i did stay up to try..

i still want to watch my 27 dresses and PS. I Love You.. plus one more!!! KungFu Guan Lan!!!!!
hahaa, and i think alot more other movies... i cant watch feast of love!!! OMG... why!!!!???
no time for movies anyway... but the 3 movies will be must watch
=D aight, im yawning alrdy...going off soon..

+ the moment u step onto this world, beating the first beat of your heart.
we are all destined to die. +

so cherish every moment. coz every single moment, u are waiting for death..

hahaha... i feel so pessimistic, but its how i remind myself to enjoy myself... so i do not spend the waiting days in sorrows. yup! jiayou everyone!!!! =D

This I swear.

You're there by my side
In every way
I know that you would not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
I'm wondering how I ever got by
Without you in my life to guide me
Where ever I go the one thing that's true
Is everything I do I do for you
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
So whenever you get there
Just reach out for me
I'll never let you down my love
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there This I swear


i know this sounds too cheesy and phony and whatever terms pple can think of.
but cliche as it sounds... i think its really sweet and all...
and this kind of love..... is extinct.
nonetheless, i still love this song....
i get goosebumps whenever i hear it...
(not becoz of aircon or anything.. )
and yes. this will be played on my wedding.
(that is if im not left on the shelf or smth )

cny

happy cny pple!!! =D
dun get too fat!!! hahaha
and i should really start dieting...
everyones saying i've grown fatter...
gahhhh.... yes yes.. i have.
no offense for those who feels offended...
coz my fats are hidden under the sch u...
yupp.. so. ahaa.... 148 is fat!!

yay. and i passed 2.4 screening with my period!!!
hahaha!!!! i thought i was dying on the 4th round already...
last year was 16 secs to gold ( thanks to my ipod. coz i dropped it along the way while listening )
thank god im not a guy... =D sorry to the men out there.

watched cj7 yest. with my uncle, cousins and bro.
cj7 ( the pet itself ) is damnnnn cute!!!!
oh well.. i believe every kid has their imaginary toy/friend that they wished to have.
something perfect and super natural to satisfy human greed and desires..
gonna catch 27 dresses and kungfu dunk with the cuzins as well
and ps. i love you with the singles club.
its really really a must watch.......
i will watch it even if its the only movie i can watch for the whole year.
=D the plot is that nice.
and i wonder howmany tissues i'll use up..
oh... and its amazing how i can tear in stephen chow's movie. HAHAHA
the hospital scene is really heart wrenching...

gahhhh... i've gotta go do my tutorial ... ms seah will be breathing down our necks if i dun...
gambatte!!! fighting!! jiayou!!
=DDD

Narcolepsy

Narcolepsy has its typical onset in adolescence and young adulthood. There is an average 15-year delay between onset and correct diagnosis which may contribute substantially to the disabling features of the disorder. Cognitive, educational, occupational, and psychosocial problems associated with the excessive daytime sleepiness of narcolepsy have been documented. For these to occur in the crucial teen years when education, development of self-image, and development of occupational choice are taking place is especially damaging. While cognitive impairment does occur, it may only be a reflection of the excessive daytime somnolence.
The prevalence of narcolepsy is about 1 per 2,000 persons[5]. It is a reason for patient visits to sleep disorder centers, and with its onset in adolescence, it is also a major cause of learning difficulty and absenteeism from school. Normal teenagers often already experience excessive daytime sleepiness because of a maturational increase in physiological sleep tendency accentuated by multiple educational and social pressures; this may be disabling with the addition of narcolepsy symptoms in susceptible teenagers. In clinical practice, the differentiation between narcolepsy and other conditions characterized by excessive somnolence may be difficult. Treatment options are currently limited. There is a paucity in the literature of controlled double-blind studies of possible effective drugs or other forms of therapy. Mechanisms of action of some of the few available therapeutic agents have been explored but detailed studies of mechanisms of action are needed before new classes of therapeutic agents can be developed.
Narcolepsy is an underdiagnosed condition in the general population. This is partly because its severity varies from obvious to barely noticeable. Some people with narcolepsy do not suffer from loss of muscle control. Others may only feel sleepy in the evenings.

Narcolepsy

felt terrible today.
havent cried for ages..
but it broke today.
finally.
i tried to hide it, but i guess im not very good at it
was that supposed to be motivation or pressure whtsoever??
i dont see any of it.
infact, it totally affected me, in a negative way?...
but its quite true, as to what she asked.
what are you good at??
seriously. i think theres nothing.
nothing at all...
if u consider crapping, stoning and falling asleep a talent.
i'll champ the talent contest.
yes, aint kidding.

sometimes its not that i have no answer to her questions,
but its simply just my retarded brain...
it requires a few minutes to process and think of what the person just said.
i dunno why, but my brain's just plain slow. which is why i cant understand stuffs in lectures..
unless its repeated a few times.
yes, this is how slow my brain is...
so i don't "huh" or pause because i cant think of the answer or don't know how to answer..
i just need time to process the question
and.... knowing that my brain reacts super slow to a highly impatient and pressurizing teacher,..
it retards even more.. and anxiety, panic, cold sweat, adrenaline, all gushes through my whole body a thousand times.... and looking at everyone's expression, trying to tell me the answer.. giving me that "are-you-an-idiot?-this-is-so-easy" kind of expression... it freaks me out even more... with all these happening all in a few nano seconds... its too overwhelming for me to take.
i really want to burst out of the classroom... or just jump down from the econs classroom and land on the tracks, dying ugly, when im already ugly enough….
The beautiful ugly, and the ugly beautiful.

I don’t understand why…
But I fall asleep even without knowing..
But even when I close my eyes accidentally for that few seconds..
My mind is still active, still alive, still very pretty much hearing the loud blarings of the teachers….
But during that split second, I just feel a shake or a tap and see the teacher’s eyes staring into mine, filled with disgust and disappointment.
I am not the kind that will just sprawl on the table and sleep..
And im not the kind who let my eyes just shut.
I try every single time I can or need to keep it open..
To at least force it open when I realised its close…
But the teachers just won’t understand don’t they??
Not only teachers, friends have shot me that look as well
“Why are you always sleeping?!!” I see that line written all over their face.
Do I feel like I like to sleep in class?
To always miss out prolly that minutes of lessons??
Do I like the feeling of always getting pointed out for falling asleep??
I get so pissed off about this sudden lapses of times when I fall asleep…
So I did some research about this thing and I realised theres this disorder that totally fits my experience.
Narcolepsy:
- People with narcolepsy may visibly fall asleep at unpredicted moments (such motions as head bobbing are common).
- People with narcolepsy may dream even when they only fall asleep for a few seconds.
The main characteristic of narcolepsy is excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), even after adequate night time sleep. A person with narcolepsy is likely to become drowsy or to fall asleep, often at inappropriate times and places. Daytime naps may occur without warning and may be physically irresistible. These naps can occur several times a day.
Its quite freaky to see myself fitting in to these symptoms, even though theres finally explanation to my drowsiness and unability to control my eyelids and sleep at the same time listen and write..

i will seek doctor's help soon, to certify. so that i can stop being maligned by irritating teachers and even getting irritated with myself. it was embarrasing on my way home today... i just switched off on the train and dropped my food and created a small din...

sigh.... what can i do?? how can i deal with this????

shoo me off, hahaha

okay. i really shouldnt be here.. still on my lit essay. only have 1.25 paragraphs done... goshh...
nights make me emo. sigh.....
11:11, been seeing this recently. hahaha.
its a good sign?! =D
my bro bought PS. I LOVE YOU
seriously. that book is the best ive ever read..
made me cry and laugh...
bring me on a ride on the emotion rollercoaster.
yupp. for those who haven read it,
pls watch the movie first...
lest u';ll be disappointed coz the book is really damn good..
HAHAH.
V day's coming.... this year's gotta be a damn sad one...
single club day.. ><
and worse still... he chose that day to do that.. hahaha. ok. no one knws wht im talking about.
(u're not supposed to )
anyway.. dun matter to me anymore..
yes girl. MOVE ON... MOVE UR DAMN FAT BUM...
haahaa...
never have hope, so u'll never have disappointments.
new year solution. just get a place in uni and get my degree so i can get my stable job and work towards the passions..
its time i do something for myself aint it??! =D
ohh ohh... and im damn excited for england trip!!! hahahaha
and the thing is.. EVRYONES GOING!!! (ok la, near everyone. hee )
yay yay yay
gives me another reason to work hard.
JIAYOU!!!!!!
and tuition was highly productive today=D
my math WILL improve.

haha. elaine!! table for 8!!!
lets pray hard we dun need it...

the call

i know he won't be reading this..
so yeah, just gonna blog about it for the first and last time.
i dunno if i loved you, but i definitely know at least i liked you.
love is too much a strong word..
from the call i made just now.
i know, i won't ever think about it again...

now that your happiness is near...
i won't be there to hear.
you laughter that seemed so close
will never be there to hold.
so now i say goodbye,
to this silly infatuation.
and all the hopes.
so that all u see in my eyes.
are the remains of disguise.

不想让你知道

忽然不想让你知道
在我心中你多重要
既然你要自由
你就得到
让你永远都记得我好
忽然不想让你知道
你的爱我已经戒不掉
就让思念淹没
我不想逃
反正你将永远不知道
今夜星光多美好
适合用寂寞去凭吊
我们曾用爱互相依靠
付出多少不用计较
想一个人多美好
就算只剩记忆可参考
被爱放逐到天涯海角
我的思念你不用都知道
直到有天你我年老
回忆随着白发风中闪耀
至少我清清楚楚知道
你若想起我会微笑

pissed.

i'm sselesu.
if theres one person i despise. its gotta be myself

dead

sorry for my really bad swings today....
but if im serious..... im really serious....
and.... im never apologizing to you ever again.
NEVER WILL I IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.

very dead today.
really drained out.
mentally..
and physically... thanks to my DAMN HEAVY BAG...
had no money for transportation today...
so had to walk to the mrt station..
it was about 9pm i guess....
pitch dark (also prolly due to my night blindness)
and there was not much people around..
kinda freaky...
haha, not very surprised im freaked out huh....
yeahh... the sounds were rather scary.... the crickets sounds....
and many other weird noises... HAHA.. paranoial u may say..
but im damn good at hallucinating...
.........i was dropping dead on my way home..
its a wonder how i manage to type so much,...
was doing the identity project...
not as easy as it seemed to be....

but thank god one great thing happened today!!
i found my files and books!!!! =DDD
omg... and mr quek/kwek/???? was in the GO as well...
his reaction was kinda interesting...
coz prolly i was really too elated... HAHA
YAY!! thankew kind soul! whoever helped me in it...

sigh... so much work recently.....
and.... thinking of tmr's audition sends the butterflies in my tummy fluttering.
rahhhhhhhh... ok... hahaa... and....
damn myself for using the forbidden word so many times....ahhhhhhhhhh

gotta go!!! my teddy's calling out to me. hah
CIAO!~

living dead.

we cant deny that life is the process of dying.
its a bitter sweet process.....with an unescapable ending.
a tragic, yet relieved ending.
this process, called life, has a deadline.
some have a longer one, some shorter.
its all not up to us to control or change.
however cliche it may be, but its the truth.
the result is not important, the most vital is that we enjoy the process and learn something from it.
so, we should be enjoying life, aint that right??
but every morning, on my way to school...
i see the cruelty of survival, the expression that most people carry.
the lethargy of this process...
with work and studies...
and the aunties and grandmas who worry about the dinner for the day..
the frowns. so often displayed, but so often forgotten how ugly it is.
every morning, i try to squeeze in to the small footspace in the lrt..
everyone pushing and squeezing with irritation.
everyone checking their watches to calculate time.
im no different, constantly peeking at the time on my phone display.
calculating the time i have, contemplating if i want to or need to run for school..
isn't this what everyone do, calculating and making full use of every minute they can.
and despite not liking this, it has unfortunately became a habit of everyone.
to rush. whether u're late or not. u just rush.
before even the passenger doors at the station open,
u can feel the pressure of the people behind u,
all ready to burst out of that door to move on.
is this how life should be? a rush?? are we rushing to reach our final destination???
the routine repeats itself, day by day.. until the day when u know u fast-forwarded or rush time too hard... u cant rewind.
no chance of it... and amongst the rush. how much of it have u enjoyed. or how much do you know about the roads u pass every single day... how much do you know other than rushing to your destination.... the process again, has been neglected....
we can say that everyone is working hard to survive. but sometimes ask yourself, issit simply survival? or are we just trying to fit in, to this society.. and what if, we do not have studies,... or what if we do not have a degree.. will this really affect our survival?? so why do we put sooo much of our time in it??? what can u answer when people ask what have you done in your life.... issit just how much knowlege we have or how high our position is in some company? or how much wealth you own??? and how much have u enjoyed throughout this process... and how much have u done for yourself.....
so what do you want to include in this short yet long process before u finally reach ur destination??? issit just another morning rush??? think about it....

medical leave

sick. on leave.
and... HAPPY BIRTHDAY YS!!! <3
sighss... of all days, saturday... when theres choir...
guess i hve to miss alot 3/4 of the celebration...
damn sad... ARGHHH
and i lost my voice!!!!! sound like a bass now... gross!!!!
work piling up to my neck....MC also cant rest... and tuition at night...
sighss.... so sorry.. just lemme rant. hah.

* theres a small tinge of hope tt i may find my file =D *

SO CLOSE.

You’re in my arms

And all the world is calm

The music playing on for only two

So close together

And when I’m with you

So close to feeling alive

A life goes by

Romantic dreams will stop

So I bid mine goodbye and never knew

So close was waiting, waiting here with you

And now forever I know

All that I wanted to hold you

So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end

Almost believing this was not pretend

And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come

So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days

If I should lose you now?

We’re so close

To reaching that famous happy end

And almost believing this was not pretend

Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are

So close So close

And still so far

XMAS EVE, MAGICAL NIGHT

exciting gift exchange! love my prezzie siong!!!

the huge xmas tree at vivo

in white dog cafe.. nice ambience there

my food!!!

aint no moutain high enuf! hahah. add together the 2 SHANS!

the 4 of us @ vivo's roof park


frenz forever!! gave these to my 3 dears ^^

ME n Siong!

the 2 SHANS


3/4

strangers.

im an easy going person, and i sincerely love to make friends..BUT. if i sense "danger", or i feel stressed. don't blame me, coz i seriously seldom, rarely block pple...

unwritten.

too many thoughts sometimes,
too many things i have in mind
a silent facade, hiding whts thundering inside of me.
so i guess, its best to leave many things unsaid..
and untouched.
may it be forgotten.

untitled

the white portrait
scarred by that fine line,
the fine line that could not erased.
later the artist came.
he painted colours, he filled the whites
but deep down he knew,
that all these, were merely a facade,
a disguise, such that no one could tell
what was within, what was hidden.
this beautiful disaster, a secret,
shared only by the artist, and perhaps,
the person that gave the paper its first touch.

the paper became a vibrant one,
surfacing as a colourful portrait,
the differents paints used by many artists.
each came and painted their way on the landscape.
each came and left.
the picture became history
people grew sick of it,
colours fading,
there it stood on its stand,
forgotten and lost.
lost in reality,
lost in its own world,
lost in memory.
as the paints wear off,
the fine line, surfacing again.

they say, scars heal over time.
do they? it may be forgotten, temporarly.
but it creeps back to you now and then..
whenever dark comes, or whenever u're alone in a little room.
having the fear its going to be locked on you..

having the fear that you will be forgotten...
that no one cares if you're locked behind that door...
having the fear that your pain brings happiness to others.
that no one cares if you're crying out loud...

腳步偶爾還是會沉重。。

时间，飞速而过。。真得太快了。
转眼间，我这个窝已经快待了七年。
墙上的漆，被粉刷过，一次又一次。
而记忆，也一次又一次的被更新，被粉刷。。
但最底层的那部分，也从来没消失过。
而只是被那一层层的保护色掩盖着。
没错，我是比从前快乐，好多好多。
谢谢了。我的朋友们，带给我那么好的回忆。
真的，小女子在这向所有真心对待我的每一位致谢。

一转眼，2008 就要来了。。
新学期也会带着它一切的压力与负荷，
压抑着每位学生。。。
这种压力。。必须自己去体会，才会知道。
真的不容易。。。
在我说这得当下，可能会被十年后的我，当成儿戏。。
因为，十年后的我，会有不能预知的烦恼和问题。。。
也许，现在的经历对以后的我，比起来，只是皮毛。。
但这一切的切。。。 还算远。。。十年，很远。。

这条漫长的路，虽然艰辛，虽然坎坷，但我也看到人的阴暗面。。
我也学会相信，学会依赖。。甚至， 有时还会忘记从前的孤胆，使怎么熬过来的。。
我太依赖了吗？

我的感情观念也变了许多。。
算是满多的。。　但我清楚之道的是。。
自己不能相信，不能依赖，不能衬托。。。
我想，这算是逃避，也算是让自己，不要上的那么深。。。

爱怎会输给了时间。
我的耳边，在听不见。。
我以为永远不会变
最习惯的明天见。。。　
心会受伤，也能复原。。

秀盈。记得，不要太轻易相信。。。

ESCAPE

it was a day of fun and excitement at the escape theme park yesterday. went out with jac, faith, stella, meixuan and qing. it was their 7th annivasary thus the tickets were only sold at 7 bucks! huge deals huh. anyway, tried the wild and wet thingy for my first time... was worrying and feared for nth, coz afterall it was fun. mx was screaming even more than me la. haahah. yup, everything was fun. and we took the revolving space thingy for like 5 times till it close... it was really heaven up there. it was like an addiction for me and jac... and one thing about escape was the height limit... .omgosh.... those pple were just carrying the pole around measuring my height can.... gahhh... but i think the height limit for the go kart thing shld be higher... coz apparently.. i had some difficulty stepping on the accelerator and the brakes... and.. omgosh, it was the worse thing tt happened throughout the hols.. i was coming down at high speed from the slope.. and i lost control of the steering wheel and crashed right into the curb.... caused a rather major jam there... the impact was sooo huge.. i cant even turn my neck... and my chest is in some major pain right now.... no idea wht to do... doctor or not...? coz my mum told me this before i left: " don't play until here pain there pain come back complain to me.".. yupp.. so i cant let her know... and... gahhhh.... worried! hahha. paranoid?! i dunno, but it hurts la... call me "gu niang" ba... (well, im a gal! ) ...... ok.. lemme sink in my own worries.. so long!!! CIAO~

CHANGES. BLACK OR WHITE

the conductor came back yesterday, bringing back his weirdness along as well. there were huge changes made in the choir. pple went from A2 to S1, S to A.. but alto became rather sympathatic... sighhss... ..

complicated

the world is no longer as simple, no longer as innocent. smiles are no longer smiles, laughter no longer laughter. i don't wanna belong, don't wanna be in disguise, leen's staying here, staying in this plain world with only warmth and love and laughter.... is this possible????

BLOG DIVIDED.

i know you guys are like super anti chi. hahha, so emo stuffs in chi, so tt u guys wun be affected.. =DD

emotions overload

I DON'T WANT TO FEEL HURT. DON'T WANT TO BREAK THAT EASILY. I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED.

FUN and MOREE FUN

hahha, this is gotta be a really short one, "like me". hahah. today's daddy's birthday!!! =DD just came back from getting the cake for him from breadtalk. and today is really a tiring one, aches all over, all thanks to mahjong the whole night and the killing games at sentosa from morning till evening, yesterday was really hectic. went to karen's birthday party with some of the choir pple and my other friends =D. saw his lil bro, omgawd. so damn cute la! and her niece too!!! the choir outing was not as bad as expected. kinda fun, and me being the super blur one lost in the pig game and had to do a forfeit of getting a guy's no. the monkey game and the captain's ball match was really tiring... and throughout the whole thing, my nose was attacked twice.. >< hahha, poor nose, i knw i needa nose job, but this wasnt much of an effect huh... hahhaa!! i held the monkey position for damnnn long until someone was nice enough to let me rest. lols. legs now aching like shit!!! only me and elaine stayed over for the chalet, played mahjong with the J2s, learnt loads of new stuffs. haha, dint knw mahjong required so much knowledge. =D thankew!

last of all... before i go off... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!

COOKING FRENZY

just like wht my title suggest, been learning how to cook (properly) hahah, not just instant noodles or fried eggs. yupp! my mum's still very nervous about me cooking, afraid that her muddleheaded clumsy daughter will turn her kitchen into ashes. so far cooked 2 complete meals for myself and my parents. hahaa, not too bad worr, can consider taking up cooking for further study. who knows, someday in the future, i'll be Head Chef Chia (HCC??!! ) in some reknown hotel. hEEEEE =DDD

ELAINE HERE U GO

haha, elaine, u told me to write about you. LOL. yupp. so we (Amanda,leen<3, Faith) went to "visit" this nearly-perfect-skin girl at gap in vivo. shes working there now, so if u have time, drop by vivo to say hi to the poor soul... shes earning only like 6 per hour ( woops, i realise i'm poorer...negative earnings) had lunch at food republic during her lunch time.. shopped in the first level till 5 plus and in conclusion, i so crowning faith as the jacket woman. hahah, seriously, shes simply a jacket magnet. hahaa. not to mention i got a white jacket for myself as well. =DDD its really pretty.... its been quite a long time since we came out, yupp. so had quite a bit of fun yest. and my mum was in a good mood thanks to my DS. hahhaa. AND!!! im not a xiao nv ren!!!! pink is just a nice colour la!!... hahha =P

ALIVE!

greetings y'all!!!! aint that a miracle, my blog came alive. finally, after several naggings and rantings from my dear friends. i think if i were to kill this blog again, they're gonna make ma write "i am a lazy blogger" a thousand lines. hahhaa. anyway, this blog is going to be all about my life, my thoughts, simply just me, so feel free to tag and come often!!!!! =DDD thankew all readers!! ^^

DEAD

i hereby announce the death of this blog.
R.I.P
p.s. charges for the murderer :: sentenced to revamp this poor blog.
hahha, kinda light for me???
well, i'll try to be not so lazy.. >< (i forgot the no. of times ive said this.. man.... im the laziest person in the whole wide world, nua-er den desdemona and the willow trees )

shi ke er zhi.

適可而止。 我不想再儅啞子了！！
從今天起，我會說不，我不會在是以前的我。在也不會是那個處處讓人的小女人。
所以不要感到訝意，因爲我受夠了。

PW!!!

such a lame thing, hahhaa, PW OP first dry run just ended for our group... =DDD ok lar, not as bad as expected, but not as good, haha, brought me back to the times of the WITS team, hahhaa... (student empowerment, i rmbed this drove us crazy. the damn fishbone. ) but somehow, i prefer wits to this damned PW lar... gahhhhhXD hahha. right. anyway, sorry my dears. hahaha, wanted to blog about the wonderful sweet 17 but the blogger sorta cocked up and DIDNT save my post, so.. yeah, nonetheless, thankew pple!!!! =DDDD loveesssss... mwahahhaa.....

borui, shoosh. LOL.. lester answering his qn right now. hahhaa!!! lame shits pw.. jiayou anyway..to all who are doing pw. jiayou!! for those taking Os, jiayou all the more!!! and As pple also.. hahhaaha

<3<3<3

terrible

i just feel terrible. sorry pple, for spreading my downess to everyone.... i knw its not wht leen shld do... but... i m seriously in a terrible state, terrible person i am.. so i shld stop being so terrible and bring more joy to the peeps.... laughs out loud.... ok. leen stop being so immature and throwing tantrums....

my window

Arena (known to self and others) energetic, friendly, sentimental, shy	Blind Spot (known only to others) accepting, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, dependable, extroverted, happy, helpful, independent, intelligent, kind, loving, mature, modest, nervous, organised, relaxed, responsive, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm, witty
Façade (known only to self) idealistic, introverted	Unknown (known to nobody) able, adaptable, bold, brave, calm, confident, dignified, giving, ingenious, knowledgeable, logical, observant, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, reflective, religious, searching, tense, wise

Dominant Traits

60% of people agree that hamsterian is friendly

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (26%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (40%) cheerful (20%) clever (6%) complex (6%) confident (0%) dependable (20%) dignified (0%) energetic (20%) extroverted (6%) friendly (60%) giving (0%) happy (33%) helpful (26%) idealistic (0%) independent (6%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (13%) introverted (0%) kind (13%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (26%) mature (20%) modest (6%) nervous (13%) observant (0%) organised (13%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (6%) religious (0%) responsive (6%) searching (0%) self-assertive (6%) self-conscious (6%) sensible (20%) sentimental (33%) shy (6%) silly (20%) spontaneous (6%) sympathetic (6%) tense (0%) trustworthy (46%) warm (20%) wise (0%) witty (6%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 29.9.2007, using data from 15 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view hamsterian's full data.

secret

不能说的秘密
冷咖啡离开了杯垫我忍住的情绪在很后面

拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
又何必去改变已错过的时间
你用你的指尖 阻止我说再见
想象你在身边 在完全失去之前

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面

拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 Woo~
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
又何必去改变已错过的时间
你用你的指尖 阻止我说再见
想象你在身边 在完全失去之前

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们会遇见
只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡







一次又一次，
一而再，再而三，
爱错，是怪天的残忍，
还是自己的愚蠢。

一而再，再而三，
看错，是怪你的掩饰，
还是自己的盲目。

我，还是如以往，轻易感动，轻易落泪。
让一切的脆弱，赤裸裸的摆在众人面前，
让他人轻易的摧残，惯性的嘲讽。

TAGGED

List out your top 5 birthday presents you wish for (hint hint...haha...):
1. CLOTHES! ( i've got a super bad wardrobe)
2. A GOOD PASS FOR PROMOS. ( GOD, u heard this?? hahha)
3. MY "H" (Cupid!! catch that??!)
4. a wallet?! coz mines in pieces, my bro's getting one for me, i hope, hahaha
5. A HUGE LIFESIZE TEDDY!! hahaha.. ( nt the grizzy bear kinda life size la! )


1. The person who tag you is?
Branson

2. Your relationship with her is?
4I 2006' classmates

3. Your 5 impressions of her:
-interllectual
-smart
-sensitive?
-nice! hahhaa, he gave us free mindchamps tutoring! ( and amirah as well. haah)
-someone who treasures friendship.

4. The most memorable thing she had done for you?
Hmm. I think its the mindchamps thing la, even tho i dun really apply it now, hahah! but still, thanks!!

5. The most memorable words she had said to you?
Hmmm. harlo?! HAHA!! coz everyone says that, but i seriously have no particular sentence in mind. hah

6. If he becomes your lover, you will?
hmmm, i guess i'm losing faith towards guys man, hahaha!

7. If he becomes your lover, things he would have to improve on will be?
hahah, i still dunno u tt well actually! haha..despite knowing u for like more than 2 yrs alrdy!!

8. If she becomes your enemy, you will?
i'll set dogs on you, ( i think tts the freakest thing man, i doubt i'll even dare go near it to set it lose. hahah!)

9. If she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
you killed my parents. HAHAHA... ok, i just made tt up, u wun right?! haha!

10. The most desired thing you want to do for her now is?
yes yes, every single soul i knw better promote! and esp you too! hahaah

11. Your overall impression of her is?
nice, talking more, smart,... hahaha!

12. How you think people around you would feel about you?
eew, shit face! hahah!! stupid shorty etc etc... ( woops, elaine, pls sensor this, u aint seeing anything babe. lol)

13. The character i love most about myself is?
haha, my super natural power : freeze. i cant take part in icebreaker games. LOL

14. On the contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
sadly...i hate myself...can't bring about to love myself as well, man, we're so on the same boat. but most imptly, hate the inferiority complex in me, everyone tells me im not as bad as i described myself to be, but, its just.. u knw, inferiority!

15. The most ideal person you want to be with is?
sighs, my mr right, cupid is taking supeerrrrrrrr long, waiting and waiting for ages. (no more Ls. pls. hahah!)

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them:
omg, such an emotional topic, yes, i love all of you to bits, MUACKS!!! always being there, my beloved choir!!! support's very impt! haha, vocal wise and in the mind. and my lovely 0732 too, and my jiemeis and guys from 4I! hahaha... you pple rock, huge thanks for being ard, treasure and appreciate it shit piles. hahah!

17. For people whom i've hurt:
erm, if i do hurt u in anyway, sincerely i apologise, aherm, and i shld stop being so mean to "B" hahhaa. woops =X sorry if there was anything said or done that you pple out there feel uncomfortable, disturbed or feared of... so very sorry!

18. Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel bout you:
In no Order of Merit:::
1. BRANSON. u are tagged back! hahaha
2. Elaine
3. Amanda
4. Mushi
5. Jackson
6. Elvis
7. Tab
8. Jac
9. Xin Ying
10.LAO PO

please note, if you intend to do this quiz, i advice you to fill in the ten names before you proceed with your reading! Its no fun otherwise.]

1. Who is no.6 having a relationship with?
hahah!! my BRUTHER..

2. Is no.9 a male or female?
hahah, definitely a gal.. LOL

3. If no. 7 and 10 are together, would it be a good thing?
HAHAH! omg, both are my precious, cant bear to put em together, i want all of em to myself! hahah

4. How bout no. 8 and 5?
HAHAH!!! cool, both Js, both tall pple.. LOL.. why dint i think of tt??!!

5. What is no.2 studying about?
4 H2s!! LIT, HIST, MATH , CHEM

6. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
today?!?! hahaha

7. What kind of music band does no.8 likes?
uh oh, sorry jac dear!! got no idea wht kinda music u like!! tell me next time k?!?!

8. Does no. 1 has any siblings?
yupp. i think so?! hahaa. if i dint rmb wrgly

9. Will you woo no.3?
errr.. no, we are not CROOKED too..

10. How bout no.7?
haha, we love each other too much, dun have to woo.. LOL

11. Is no.4 single?
duhhh.. LOL.. its written all over his face, hahah.. dun shock me mush. LOL

12. What is the surname of no.5?
SEAH! hahaa.. chinese is XIE! LOL

13. What is the nickname of no.10?
turtle, lala, angela zhang shao han, lao po.. LOL... dun really knw leh, i just call her lao po..

14. What is the hobby of no.4?
haha, composing, writing essays?! do u call tt a hobby? lOL...graphics design, blogs interface, omg, u do too many things!! haaha..

15. Do no.5 and 9 get along well?
hahah, dun realy knw, in the same choir, but rarely talk i think, LOL!

16. Where is no.2 studying at?
duhh.. where i am, NY. LOL

17. Talk something casually bout no.1?
cool, smart, quite silent at times.

18. Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
jac dear,....... u wanna lemme try?! HAHA~ jacs freaking out now..

19. Where does no. 9 lives?
SENGKANG!

20. What color does no.4 likes?
uh-oh, PURPLE!! hahaha!! everyone loves purple! no la.. hahha.. only me. mush is definitely not a fan or purple, well, even tho ur phone wall paper was.. or issit still the same?! haha

21. Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
They've never met...so how to be best friends..?

22. Does no.7 like no. 2?
they never met too,but both are lovable pple, so i believe they can clique quite well too.. hah.. we are very socialable pple kayss..

23. How did you get to know no. 2?
Haha...simple...she's in my class...

24. Does no.1 has any pets?
errrr... i dun think so?!?! hahaha! do u?!!

25. Is no.7 the most sexiest person in the world?
i think she is self proclaimed sexy., HAHAH!! ok tabss!! u are sexay princess!! HAHA!

time

阴霾慢慢收回，
温暖陷入缝隙。
那瞬间，撕破层层云端
闯进我复杂思绪，
闯进我的秘密基地。

这幸福之徒，
唯你专署，
谁胜谁负，
这场游戏。
谁是生命中，
我的最佳代言。

这幸福画图，
为你描述，
添上彩色
带点羞涩，
谁是生我命中，
最佳的探险。

liberated

1 mth not too long ba.. hahaha, at least not more than 1 mth?! LOL... okie, leen stop being so bai chi next time, u stupid bai chi... HAHAHA!!!!

yupp... and people im out of it, so dunid to ya knw... create fusses le.. YAY =D thanks hong guang n stella! LOL!!! =D and many others who suffered my rantings..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIN

HAPPYBIRTHDAY EEYIN!!! (: (: (:

ok, yay!!! today's very eventful, too many things to write about, yi yan nan jin, so i just write an ultra short one and i can concentrate fully le (:

hehe.. yupp!!! so, i guess feelings not so kao de zhu de... =D at least i knw it now..not too late.. (:

blogs dying soon

quick short one before i leave for tuition.. hahha, chen lao shi is superrrr egoistic and confident, and elaine wrote something in my book to ask me to learn from her.. HAHAH! sorry.. but i'm like super retarded and grotesque.. LOL.. okok.. i rock... LOL!!! yes.. i shld start changing to things like, "oh good leen" love you to bits.. hahah!!

today SEA totally is like lost in my own world, coz i havent read a single thing.. but wow.. i finally understood wht IH means alrdy!!! hahah! i love IH! oh mr pck, i wun disappoint u n ih this time round... (: JIAYOU fellow historians.. LOL!

other than tt, today's rather mundane...

joke of the day: " you're asking for rough paper? sorry, dun think i have, only got smooth ones.."

hahha.... shivers shivers...

ok! ciao pple!!!

LOVES!!

dom!!

walking to school alone is bored de, even if me n dom not talking, but still not so bored.. HAHAH!!! but ok la... just dun rain like that day can ler.... and i finally knw wht bus to take!!! 22!!!!!! i lost my way once taking the bus, so i was afraid to take it alone.. hahah!! but thanks tsu hui!! LOLS!!!!

ok... da bai chi, lemme go back to history!!! HAHA!! ( not history as in the past la.. lols)

PEEL

hellos people, i should attempt to type in proper English as much as i can remember to. Practicing to use the PEEL format that Mr L. Mao taught us today. Not today actually, its some time back when he taught us this, but apparently, i wasn't awake to catch what he taught. Laugh out loud.

ok, forget it, i think i've written enough history short essays to get my brain working now. and omg, its super dark when i walked to station today, highly paranoial. i shocked my self my accidentally blasting the song over my earphones, i got a SHOCK. hahah. i think the 2 gals behind me find me weird. LOL! and, the poor mouse, RIP. its sooo poor thing can, its like trying to escape and squeezing into the drain, but it got stuck and it just died there. OMG, such a shock in the morning. sighss... the "mouse track" is scary yet tragic... ( tragedy = Othello) LOL...

phew, i thought i was really really really slow on GE, luckily i said smth not so near the beginning chpts. i cant express myself verbally that well, i really can write better than talk, even tho my writing is not very amazing, like totally not...

hahaha... i looked into the mirror n screamed grotesque again!!! LOL!! and thanks lao po, guess i was drained from the past few days of laughing and craziness... its quite tiring smtimes , and today lao po made the effort to make me laugh again, really appreciated it... HAHA! the swing needs some oiling... i miss it man!! HAHA, and too bad no stars tonight, cant enjoy it together... friday ba! hahaha ( making assumptions tt u can stay.. ) i think we really needed the half and hour a day talk at the swing.. LOL!! we can make it longer aft promos u knw... LOL!!!

dint see him today, to be happy or not!? i knw not for now.... rarrrrrrr...

i still have 2-7 to do later, despite finishing 2-6, its scary... super long.......my hand was breaking by question 5..LOL!!

ok pple.. needa run alrdy!!!!! (: and pls tag, coz it looks like its dying.. LOL!!!!

=D JIAYOU

heart attack

pray that i can pass promos... sighs....
i knw its a blessing to take lit.. but im just afraid of the other h1s...
sighhss... and pck gonna screw me for failing hist again...
jiayou gal!!!

thanks laopo!!
love the swing man, thanks prev batches of students.. (:
NSP was quite productive, other den wasting too much time n energy with my 2-5 notes.. hahha! but managed to finish 2-5 finally, starting 2-6 soon, and mushi taught me a mtd to study hist, coz he see me study until he got pissed
lol! sorry!! thankew!!! and jia hao, omg,..... lame man... i thought i was paralyzed enough.. i think u dun have legs man.. HAHA.. more than just lame... u fish monger.. LOL!!!!

ok, its weird today, hahah.. was it on purpose to freak me out so that i will zhi nan er tui?? or was it to see me chu chou?? hahah!! free freak show! LOL...

and.. ok.. im looking more n more hamsterish.. even faith think i do look like one.. HAHHA

JIAYOU pple!!! =D =D =D

yawns pple..

tiring man.. reading great ex is a chore... not becoz of the small fonts like PnP la.. but.. its the writing tt makes u ponderlike every 2 sentences, so by the time u finish one page.. its like.. so many thoughts popped in to ur mind le... DRAINING!!!!

ohh...as usual, went to cp lib cafe to mug again... hahha.. i think i saw kaibin's classmate.. quite familar.... if its not den their features similarity is like 85% liaos. ok.. i think im really too shagged... this kinda things also go and trhink about.. HAHA!!! leen's crazy..

but i'm happy recently.. =D hahaa.. thanks!!! laopo!! u are like half of everything to me! LOL... sorry about the other half...

OOh!!!! HSM 2 is starting in like 10 min!!!! needa zhao...

hahaa... and i proclaim that i am seriously a kids magnet man.. LOL!!

JIAYOU J2s!! prelims tmr!!

JIAYOU J1s!! promos coming soon! =D

LOVE YA PEEPS =D

IR

HEY STONES!! and others doing pw... I/R reflection log must be handed in on MONDAY!!!!

sighss.. so dun like it man.. hahaha.. nonetheless.. jiayou!! ^^

yu dao

i am TAGGED

You Are Tagged!Rules of the game:Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end of the game, you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!:)

1) I sleep with lights on too!!! super afraid of the dark, hallucinating at stuffs in the dark, HAHA!
2) I am superrr terrified of being alone in an enclosed area, like store rooms, toilets, even classrooms, etc... so... please dun lock me up.. u'll prolly find me dead on the floor due to heart attack..my friend said this is some form of a psychological phobia... hahaha, this world is amusing..

3) haha! hi 5 jac!!!! i cant eat chili!!! =D my chicken rice is just chicken n rice. LOl!!! everyone who sees me eat confirm ask " like this also can eat? "
4) I'm a secret member of Fantastic Five. Super power: Freeze. hahah.. seriously, pple get all frozen up when they talk to me.. LOL ( my poor choir pple, classmates and jiemeis ... practically everyone suffer this "power" of mine.. LOL)
5) i need a bolster and a blanket to sleep. HAHA...but if im tired... i can even sleep when i'm standing... and i snore....
6) i'm always calling out to god... (omgod) i'm saying tt lesser alrdy, coz i think hes very busy!!! everyones calling out to him..
7) i cry super easily!!!! tears of laughter, joy, touch,sadness, loneliness, everything.. hahaha... i wet my laopo's shoulder soo much
8) I have a major stage fright. Esp. tt freaking audition... hahaha!!!! i nearly fainted before i got up on stage...

9) I think ALOT. about everything.... (Ask my wife about it. or even those who knws me long enuf.. HAHA)
10) i get high very very very very easily, esp when i laugh.... leen's blushing like everytime now... not very healthy. retribution i guess?! coz before this mth, i never blushed a single time... and poor jun xian (4I ) and siong, n xy. whos always blushing.... kanna teased by me.. LOL.. retribution!!!! sorry to those whom i teased, i finally understand ur plight!!! HAHAHA..i think last time i'm prolly bloodless ba! LOl!!!!

Following people are tagged:
1) Theresa
2) TAB
3) Pei Shan
4) Elaine
5) Amanda
6) Elvis


MUST WRITE THEM IN YOUR BLOG. I WILL CHECK.!

i love campus!!!!

HEYY pple!!!!! (: (: (: smiles smiles, leen reached school at 730 today... and its super lang bei bu kan de lor!!!! hahah... poor theresa also.. but, its worth it.. hahaha!!!! we dint get containers today even tho no one was using it... and u knw why??? coz its locked on saturdays!! omg... lao po and u dint tell me!!!!!!! maybe i'm just bai chi.. hahaha... my wife's complaining i'm influencing her to speaking in chinese... LOL. good wht, chinese rocks man... lol... ok larrr... i'll speak england too...vely powderful one.. HAHAHA!!!!! i forgot where i heard it from.. lols.. anyway.. my umbrella is sooooo not behaving properly today... it spoilt i think, long ago.. but i dint realise, coz the wind wasnt tt strong... my umbrella totally flipped the other way round, and,.. i ended up wetter than the umbrella!! Lols.... it was j2s C Lit paper today.. hahhaa... no wonder they came so early....

was doing Great Ex the whole day, my reading improve le.. prolly becoz i was more focused on my reading today.. LOL..finally analyzed parts of wht i read and could.. hahah! not bad la... Pip is soo mean... gonna chiong history later, if not i'm sooo screwed for kellet's lesson.. hahah!!!! yupp!!! (: me n lao po went to the fitness corner.. hahaa.. i love tt place, so given that the weather is sooo nice and chilly with fragments of sunlight peaking through the clouds... we laid on the sit up "benches"(coz we were seating on it like benches) haha. and... we were trying to do our work... managed to read quite a bit, and finally, i dozed off.. literally fell asleep.. hahah..thanks lao po..for not waking me up.. hahah! she said she see me sleep until lidat bu she de wake me up... omg... my shui xiang so chou la!!! were you laughing like crazy?! hahaha.. i asked the same question again.. everytime i wake up.. did isnore?? LOL.. she said.. abit larr... thanks uh lao po.. too nice to me le... HAHAH!!! i'm a pig man.. lol.....

and.. i think im getting man-lier... even theresa said so.. we want each other's arms.. LOL.... im muscular de lor.. LOL!!!! for my size la.. hahha... i'll try to be more girl ba.. hehe... (^:^) >>> newly invented by the not functioning brain.. HAHAHA

JIAYOU pple!! ( selfish me, giving away my oil so tt i'm so fat.. LOL.. but like not going anywhere lehh.. keep increasing only.. LOL)

(: (: (: stay happpyyy!!! have fun amidst mugging ba.. HAHAHAAA..

HELP HELP

hahah.. im changing my blogskin soon!!! i stumbled upon a very nice skin.. its a green template but the artist sort of created a few other colour formats.. but we have to manually change it ourselves.. and i dunno how!! anyone knows how to change the colours??? LOL.. im so not IT savvy.. hahha..

recently been rather high.. hahha!!!!! u can tell from all the hahahs. i think im noise pollution in the canteen... and!!!! argghhh... i came to sch at 8 yest( early) thinking i might be able to get a container for the choir gang... BUT!!! all booked la!! grrr... so i was very bu fu qi... and i decided to come earlier today.... so i reached sch abt 730... thinking, so early.. confirm got places one.. but!!!! na li zhi dao, all booked again!! by the same grp of pple la!!!!!!!!!! and..poor jun xian, he reach earlier than me like.. 7?! he was very bu fu qi also.. hahha!! i understand! actually Kaibin msged me about it when i alrdy reached SR mrt.. yeahh..so abit too late le... TMR I'LL GO SCHOOL AT 6!!!! hahaha.. no la..crazy... go so early... i might as well go CP lib cafe.. LOL.....

okayy... today was YAY.. coz i finished 10A hahah!! and embarking on 10B... thanks mr tam!! LOL.. he came all the way down to canteen for me.. lols.. coz i went ard the sch looking for him..yupp... im going to do Victor a nice favour by reading GE.. lol..ok.. not doing her a favour but myself la.. since im the one taking exams in the end... yeahh. must jiayou!! MUST PASS LIT!! if not dui bu qi zi ji... sighs... i shld have taken H2 chi, at least will be doing smth i enjoy. dumb dumb.... who ask me so stupid to fail prelim and end up in NJC??? (no junior college).. so i had no idea about JC curriculum and sub. combi.. LOL... so i ended up with this louya combi... haha. and theres only clement to pei me in this super weird subjects.. LOL... (history is reallyyyyy saiiiiii.. ) no offense PCK...

WOOPS... hahaha.. lameness acting up on me!!!!!! hahha..... im laughing like mad... LOL...


LOL....

siaoness...

JIAYOU......

byebyeeeeeeeeee

qiao yu

qiao yu's not so nice after all!! and theresa.. i dun agree with ur theory.. LOL... coz.. its bu ke neng de shi qing.. LOL..... OK.... i m still in school. ( i forgot smth!!! ) haha. nearly type smth wrong....
im rotting like no ones business... =D

you guys jiayou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
petrol prices here is FOC de.. LOL....

kk.... i needa do my work le.. zai jian!!!!!!!!!

=D =D =D

尽在不言中

尽在不言中， 太多的感慨，不知道怎么表达。淡淡的忧伤在心里刮成龙卷风。风平浪静的外表，来掩饰心里被波动的心弦。。。 不知道会有如此的感觉。不知道会那么在意。。心在隐隐作痛，但能如何是好?? 怪只怪自己轻易动摇的坚定，轻易相信，轻易被人摆布。。 我就是这样的我，改变不了的我。。。。。。
也许就因为这样，伤，总是习惯性的一再对我开刀，让我血淋淋的身心，透过字眼，隐秘的泄露，我的不安，与寂寞。。

gan dong.

Quan shi jie de ren dou zhi dao

Hou hui

Kao jin yi dian dian

Yu Dao

lyrics lyrics

QUAN SHI JIE DOU ZHI DAO

E ZUO JU

PW!

and!! one more thing worth celebratin!!! our WR met all expectations in every criteria! WOOHOO!! way to go STONES!! lol.. whts wrg with stoning right?? we will strive de.. HAHHAA!!!! STONES ROCKS!!!! yupp.. and.. im so gonna go early to chope place at container.. yay-ness..! and i write n memorise at the same time... so...i dun have to refer to my sad-to-tears puny small words.. HAHHA..

Qing says my life's very happy becoz im always laughing.. hhahaha. amused by tt... LOL!! coz apparently... i've been thru quite a series of unfortunate events ( but not as unfortunate as many others la...) (and why m i complaining??!! ) ok.... god gave me quite a nice life, but a very negative character.. always thinking too much, using my brains wrongly.. LOL... yeahh... nvm that... i've learnt to thrown away my sad past thanks to my lovely frens now... (: yupp.. i LOVE all of you... HAHHA... i'll spread my happiness to everyone ba... LOL.. =D

ok.. ishld really go continue chionging.. BB!!!
CIAO!!!!!!!!!!
<3 LEEN

haiz

haizz... okay.. great... i'm sianed to go alone... bahhhhh.. i shld just REN and try to come to a peaceful settlement. haahah!!! one whole day of history can just brain wash u ya knw....
sighs.... canteen's really hot la!! cannot study there sia.... where got aircon de?? wht happen to our choir container??!! and i fell asleep twice in the 5th floor classroom.. but becoz its airconditioned and super quiet.. i managed to finish up my history notes (: i'm starting to rock.. OMG OMG OMG!!! and guess wht?!?!!! AFter soooo many Us for my math!!! finally.. sudden leap to A!!! hahaha.. it was an easy test la... so cant brag too much, coz i believed many others got A like easily too.. LOL.. yupp... motivation to mug on... hahaha.. and i feel so retarded again, today. LOL... thanks lao po!! for the encouragement note.. we really got telepathy, such a coincidence tt both of us had smth for each other!! LOL... LOVENESS!! (:

hmmmm, i thought i could make peace with everyone de, well, im trying my best alrdy..... trying to smile through everything, trying to bring joy to pple.... yeahh... i'll still continue smiling tho... and really sorry elvis!!!!!! ><

how how how???

this sad freak here has no study partner right now... grrr... and the hse is sooo not conducive in this period of time.. nice, thanks to bro, cold war tensions running high in the hse, US n USSR with no official conflict but dragged in many innocent countries (ME)for proxy wars... gosh.so history.. LOL... k.. im zooming off to RM LJS.. hahah BYEBYE!

豆子今天的心情。

豆子的忧伤，在滚烫的热水全被融化掉，换成香浓的酸甜，意味着那期待的滋味。。。

爱的酸甜，只能用心感觉。之间的暧昧，是过去的搁浅， 因为两人，找不到娟换爱情的条件。

kids (:

i have so much yuan fen with kids recently!! they are sooo adorable and once i say hi to em, they will just keep playing with u derh! hahha...theres one time, i wanted to study, as in really concentrating, den got this toddler, keep playing with me. haha.. then when i tried to ignore him, he was like staring at me beckoning me to play la. HAHA.. so ke ai!!!! =D and lao die, i am NOT pedo!!!! tsk! haha.. prolly my height made them think i'm part of em,LOL!!

ok, sorry pple, for my recent retardation, feeling very retarded recently. lol! today's mugging was at clark quay's starbucks, wanted to mug in library one, but my parents wanted to go clark quay for dinner, so, yeahh... went to mug there... and i think i made friends with the lady at the cafe in cp le lor.. haha!!!

die larr... must really pia for promos le, i feel so retainish now lor!! argggg.. wake up leen!!! adding oil for everyone but u urself still so slackish! ( my gosh, created so many random words, this is sooo bad for gp ) ok, retarded, talking to yourself.. hahaha! yay!!! mummy's getting me a wallet !!! daddy's getting me a crumpler!! (:(:(: YAYness.. lol... its still soooo long and im planning for my presents le. hahah! mean gal. but recently, doing quite a bit of history revision, my mindmaps, hahaha!!!! poor eyes, i'm destroying u day by day.... ok.. great... leen's talking to her eyes now.. HAHAHAAA..

sorry pple, im seriously retarded recently. anyway.. i will jiayou de!!! choir no one retained before! as in.. the present cohort.. hahah ( sorry zi jie! >< ok, u're not even reading this.. LOL) nvm, yeahh... so.. choir must jiayou~!!!! 0732 must jiayou too!!! ^^

cant wait for carolling~~ but the new conductor seems, hmmmm.. i dunno, got the feeling that choir's not gonna be the same anymore.. sighs.... if only...........

well. needa go chiong le.. hahaa.. zai jian ba!!

yawns

Heyyy my beloved people!!! =D went back school to study today..sorry lao po!! as i told u, i cant concentrate with u ard de... see wht happened today?! lol.. and sorry hong guang!! and yaya.. lol..kept laughing non stop esp when i looked at both of u.. you two are too cute le la!! hahaha... seriously... yepp...
mushi is crazy today... doing all the bengs stuffs. lol... ok.. maybe u're not tt beng aft all.. first impressions are not always right u knw.. hahah! and hou yuan has this very amazing thing to get videos.. and its super nice de.. hahah.. and... THERESA TAN HUI XIN!!!!!! u owe me one man... zhong se qing you!! hahaha... ok la.. i think i owe u alot also.. hhaha.. =D its okay... just go for it gal.. i support u de!!! ^^ i'm getting fatter..shld give away as much oil as possible..
and today.. 136 took super long... the pee queen had to hold her bladder for super long... >.<.. haha.. my phone nearly died on me today.. actually it did... but my bro miraculously revived it.. thanks bro!!! hahaa...

okie.. gt econs tmr... needa ciao, mummy cant sleep before i do.. as always.. hahha.. so ishall do her the huge favour and go sleep. LOL.... right..take care pple!! and beloved choir j2s, jiayou!! and my lovely j1s!! jiayou too! hahhaa... take loads of care of yourselves man... (: bye byeeeeeeeeee..

<3 from leen ^^

the wonderful, highly anticpated "Class outing"

hahha... teachers day at cvss was.. hmm... kinda boring.. coz theres loads of new teachers... but... the singers from cv was much better than those who sung in my school.. and i wanna praise azizi ( sorry.. its confirmed spelt wrongly.. hahah! ) and wen yu.. their zhuan shu tian shi.. and mind you guys.. [A]'s chinese pronounciation is much better than many of the chinese la! hahaha...

yeah... we took super long to decide whos going to movies and what time to go off.. so by the time we left school was... 3?! and by the time we reached there... no tix and its hyper crowded (town area) yepp.. so ended up..we took another 2 hrs to decide wht to do and who to do wht and where to go..finally.. gals n guys split up to do their own stuffs.. good thing tho.. hahaha

yeahh.. so the 4 pretty ladies plus this plain Jeen(pun intended. hahah) went to marina square for a buffet dinner! omg... its super nice.. the food there... hahha.. coz we cooked it ourselves... yepp, so the gals get to eat their sushi while i get to eat my rice.. hahha! i dunt eat sushi.. for the gazillionth time im repeating myself.. hahhaa... yepp... fan tong ate 2 bowls of rice plus so much other chicken, prawns blah blah blah.. hahha.. i think i ate 26.70 worth la... but poor just! u eat so little! my gosh... and u paid so much for it gal... hahaha.. i dunno why im laughing so much today... too many hahas.. just filter them if u dun wanna keep seeing the HAHAH.

okie.. i think i'll just put up the pix here.. (:

grrr

ok...after al the hassle, i finally came to this page, and i think i can make an absolute conclusion that, technology can really control our lives, take a closer look at our lifestyle now.... i believe u will agree with me, like totally.. hahaha

ciao! chinese class!

Title: Lonestar - Amazed lyrics

Artist: Lonestar


Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time, every time
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes

Chorus

Solo

Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you




i simply love this song ( thanks to xy for having it in ur phone! hahah)
totally in love.. hahhaa...
ok.. i did crazy things again....
but, im simply, addicted. to you.
(:

......

Math test on tues pple!! lecture test....

YAY... the secret... tmr!!!! (: (: (:

rather sadded todayy... hahhaa...

ok.. i dun sound sad at all...

hahaha... okiee... i just comprehended a lil puny bit of history... page 13 - 23.. nt bad la.. considered i never once understood a single word from the text before...

moving on to functions....

i better pass this test!!

jiayou!!!! ^^

i still love my pple..

i <3 NY!

hahahharrharrrrrrrrrrrrrr

七夕情人节

七夕情人节快乐。

我昨晚做了恶梦，也没有什么恐怖的东西。。。
最恐怖的，是你那张脸孔。。。
真的，足够让我不安。。

ok..这样说太坏了。。
哈哈，可是，我真的巴不得不要在见到他们。。

难怪老天爷对我那么好，让我和你巧遇那么多次，
原来只是让我吃点甜头而已。。。

ok 啦。。 现在在吃晚餐。
等一下在到starbucks啃书。。。
咳。。好悲阿。。

大家要加油哦!!
*特别是你。。*

hahaha (:

stupid GP spoiled my day.. but Lit brought me back (: and econs was utter failure.. but, cant do much abt it, i studied.. sighsss.. nvm

after lit.. we went to watch Agamemnon, it was soo hilarious and nice!!!! it was like based on modern context... yay...one of the plays ive enjoyed so far....
thanks yi xiang and si ying for the doughnut! (: yepp!!! faith and elaine are at my place now... sleeping over.. working over rather.. >< ooohhh. and the walk at clark quay with the gals was really fun.. hahaha (:

and.. the thing that turned me off the most was not gp or econs.. but bumping into them.... while we were on the way to clark quay, i met dom and the whole cv guys gang... which is not very pleasant.. same carriage somemore.. right beside us...
and.... the thing is... after everything.. while we were on our way home on NEL, saw them again la!!! omg.. and again.. same carriage... god u are so not helping me today.. sigghhs... guys are jerks.. ok.. no offense to the rest of the guys reading.. but.. yeah... i m so turned off by them... not like im a person of worth or in any position to criticize anyone.. but.... HE IS TOTALLY OFF THE LIMIT. based on wht he used to say n do... argghh... and... i feel sooo embarrassed and regretful to even be called his ex. grrrrr... its just soooooooooooo grossingly gross.... and announcing to the whole train didnt help at all...

i won't be surprised if i was so traumatized by guys i become homo la!

grrrrrrrr;...

hahhaa.. woops.. ok.. im giving the wrong idea that im very pissed off right now.. but not really la... not now..since i have faith n elaine here (: but just dint like tt situation just now.. so totally awkward.. and 2 of em cldnt take it and just keep saying jerks.. LOL.. damn funny.. thanks for standing up for me! (: but.. im not the i wanna fight kind... hehe (:

JIAYOU PPLE!!!!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

YES YOU

READING THIS.. HAHAHA

work work work

ok.. craziness.... if i went tuition today. i think i can just die on my door step when i reach home....

theres :
1) PW - WR
2) GP AQ
3) Econs test ( 3 esssays tmr )
4) chinese file
5) chinese worksheet

my ulces hurt like crap.. so sorry if i cant talk today and tmr...

jiayou pple!!!

emotions overload

too much stress....
my stress management level is super low...
and.. today was damn unlucky.. nothing went right...
i knew it the moment the day started.....

i broke. torn.
i cried. i screamed.
i dint use the knife, i fear blood....
i think i shouldnt do this too often...
i dun i think i will.
control.....
somehow... the monster just let lose...

too many Is in a stanza...
shows my self centeredness and selfishness....

i'm a huge mistake..

heyy pple!!!

hahahaa... i'm back home with tabsters like shes right opp me.. LOL..

ok..somehow.. the convo with wq reminded me of that stupid argh again...

hahha... but its ok... nt everyones like that...i hope.. i wish...

i prolly just dun have luck with guys....

like forever...

sighs...

aight..

work...

NOW!

my wretch is alive!!! hahaa.. and i dint realise so many pple actually use wretch... real shocker there.. hahahha .... stupid eom.. i realised i have been cursing it for the past few hrs... days rather...ever since PW stepped into my life.....

haiz... indulging in a lonely cup of coffee..

今天的味道,带点苦涩,苦涩中带点香甜....
淡淡的.但其中又有点浓郁....
我想,它,现在感应到我最内心深处的混乱,矛盾..
它,让我赤裸裸的.....
没有丝毫的保留或掩饰...

wheress tabbb????

uuhoooo tabster!!! cobwebs gathering over my head alrdy!!!!

hahaha...

my eom in a complete disaster....

i needa pee!!!!

highness

hahhahaa!! highness too!!!

theresa's like sooo lucky! hahaha(: good for u gal!

meeting tabsters dear later!!!

hahah.. quick post before i leave to bathe..

so not productive..

gotta die die finish eom later!!

and i mean.. die die....

i love my blog now....

hahahah...

our second sentence.. and... more to come ^^

im not asking for anything...

coz i knw its more than impossible..

i just want to say.....

i'll be a best friend..

the second greatest fan of your life....

天气太热了！

最近的天气是跨张的热！所以，冷功必须加强，你们就别怪我了，我是帮大家调低温度！还不感谢我！

我搞不懂，我是到底怎么了。

我想，擦肩而过，心也轻轻的被牵动。。

就这样，随着你的身影。。

圣母的湖边杨柳最适合不过我现在的心情了。。

晚安。我，入眠了。

从今以后。

空荡荡的房里，沉重的气息。
没有你的空气，在拥挤人群也感到孤寂。
最远的距离，不是隔岸两地，而是走不到的未来，看不见那道门后的风景。。。。。


we never know how happy we can be without feeling sad...
we dunno how satisfactory it can be when we never tasted unsatisfaction..

so... i think.. LIFE ROCKS... (if theres me ard.. hahha!!! )

ok ok. you guys stop puking.... i'll just take back my words. =.=

hahaha!! okie... brb later for more quick post

sooo long!!!!

farewell.

yest had national day celebration!! it seemed to be more of a chinese new yr celebration with all the lion dance and puglistic society stunts.. haaha.. well... my fav. banana man from PSS2 came and sang for us.. wow. dint knw he was from NY!! and my chi teacher was his CT?! hahah. im so amused. (why m i talking like 3sa?! ) ok... sorry.. i'll just get copyright from her.. yeah, back to the topic.. he sang damn well la! and Javin from CSS2 sang mo ri zhi lian with him.. wow. its like nice.. tot they wld spoil one of my all time fav. but,... great job!! ^^ yepp.. tt was prolly the main attraction.. OHH and before i forget to put in the teacher's item... lemme say... MMk was sooo cute n cool and... Ms Lyn. Poh's students.. do u guys believe it??!!!! she performed!! dancing n singing... like totally no link.. hahah! ok... i dint get to see her clearly coz of the pathetic corner we were squeezed into... but.. from wht my fellow econs classmates said... she was ... UNBELIEVEABLE! hahah. after the concert was GP lesson.. how nice.. LOL.. some of my 4 idealist went back to CV.. sighs... too bad i had the parade.. if not i wld have gone back too..!!

aft the whole thing, faith n angela came to my place.. faith was like dropping-dead-right-at-the-spot de situation... everyones really tired.. so we went back to take a nap before we go for the party... den.. ended up only me n lala sleeping.. and faith was like trying to scare me.. (As always.. lol)

the party was like a ktv session.. quite few pple.. expected much more... hahaha... i went home to grab a bag of my karaoke discs.. and 2 more mics for them.. .if not.. i think everyone will just be stuck singing fish leong the whole night... yeahh... but iwas quite tired n sianed to sing... and i dint eat much also.. kinda hungry.. but no appetite... took pictures and smiled so much tt my mouth was cramping.. hahaa... and jaymie set up her love-tell booth again.. haaha... Altos were like all crowding ard the table for her zhan pu..

she solved my greatest heart-affair!! and yes!!! i dont like him!!!!! but hes deeply in love with the other gal.. omg.. jaymie shi pro de.. coz everyone was saying theirs also very zhun... and... in that case... the prev time she did it for me... was also zhun den???!!! that means... i shld have just told him la... arggghhh... ok.. im just a ben dan... always letting chances slip by me... this kinda things are like so hard to come... but somehow.. i always have a knack for letting them go....

eileen!! just wake up and stop being so afraid!!!! ahahha.. jaymie told me not to be so afraid of everything also... ok.. maybe nt just her... hahaha.. yep... next time i wil zhen xi de la........

for my work.. theres like so much to do.. but i'll go chiong after this super long post... hahhaa... yepp.. i m locked at home.. in my small lil table.. my lil confined space.. i thought i cld have gone to cp.. maybe can scout for him there also.. hahaha... ok... stop daydreaming gal!

oh yeahh.. and yest was like super freaky la.. on the lrt... 2 indian men kept smiling at me... =.= i've got nth against indian men la.. but they are just simply smiling grossingly... like gonna rob or kidnap me lidat.. paranoial.. haaha.. dun blame me la... i said in the profile i think too much alrdy..

ok... i guess this is one of the longest post i even have in this blog.. so i shd buzz of and do my work alrdy.. tAta!

- 20 cents*-

stuck

totally stuck with lit right now..... so very sianned.. how to vomit out 3 pages!!!! brain dead... totally...

really tired

theres really so much work today, so one quick post before i start my endless night.

today i was really PMS-ing.. just don't feel right, especially in chinese class, where the passage we have to copy is just so friggin long.. and we ahd to write another 3-400 words!.. my nose was blockedat such a right time can.. and i was having the stupid cramps.. holding my bladder to complete the work.. and super hungry! everything was simply at the wrg time!! so i put up all my fringe and my classmates were thinking i was pschyed or smth.. hahhaa..
anyway.. thanks and sorry if you had to put up with my MSes.. hahha.. (:

haha.. went "shopping" with theresa.. and i begin to suspect myself!! since i've got such a loving wife.. LOL... yeah.. but.. no thanks. im gay.. i like guys (: hahaha..
but still lao po!! i love you like siao!!! ^^ and my other jiemeis and dearies (:

choir was ok today.. quite effective, coz i finally learnt the way and not know the things i need to do.. but how i can go about doing it.. like using singing voice.. i've been told upteen times tt i can even spout it in my dreams.. but i dunno how... but today.. was quite ok.. practiced in my bathroom.. i pity my neighbours.. sorry!!! hahaha..

yepp.. and tuition was tiring.. i fell asleep! in tuition.. and yanshan had to wake me up.. lol.. ok.. i shant sleep in tuition classes next time..

yay! hols coming soon!!! (:

jiayou guys!!!!

*sighs.. i dint see him recently.. not at the station even.. [pouts] *

moaning for all my school life..

too much tutorials!
too little time!
too little brain juice!
too little concentration..
too little energy......

sighss.... another 1.5 yrs.. tt is if i promote.. and i better i make sure i do...

yes... JIAYOU!! 0732 MUST PROMOTE TOGETHER!!!! (:

thugs.

hahah.. i was surprised by tt guy* lol...

ohh..n HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH MA!

flim fest

the chinese band was nice... in fact.. love the voices.. heart strings was reallyyy sweet! hahha (: rather emo tho.. lol... but the most impactful, was recurrence.. omg... its still haunting me right now.. very disturbed by tt show... yes.. VERY.. and wht did i just say i wanna do in my blog?? to be more yong gan.. (brave) look wht happened now =.=.. leen ahh leen... please stop being such a baby can?! i cant stand it ya knw?! anyway.. we got our first official class tee!!!rather tight for me... thought it could be the right size.. but.. hahha... hungry now.. haven had dinner... simplyhad no mood to go get dinner by my self...

pw later..
vivo city cip tmr..
sleep over tmr...
plus tons of tutorials... wow.. i love my weekend la.. =.=

insecurity.

feel misplaced and insecure sometimes...
but always feel loved by my dears(you knw who u are.. ^^)
thanks being ard (:

for now.. i needa rush off for tutorials!!!!
and... omg... dawnyang is drop dead gorgeous! yes... very..

我不想。。

我不想再那么脆弱，
不想轻易落泪。。
不想再毫无自信。
不想再是大家眼中的小女人而已。
我不想失去正在流逝的快乐。。
我不想因此放弃。。
我不想再绝望。。
不想失去那股热诚。。
不想，好多的不想。。
好多的泪水，好多的忧虑，
好多的谢谢，好多的对不起。。。

我，是个爱唱歌的我。
我，是个不会唱得我。
我，是个在五线谱遗失的音符。

我，其实像做我。

对不起，我会努力。我会加油，有一天，我会证明给自己，我不是个负荷，而是那美丽歌声一分子。

谢谢，那些给我拥抱，给我安慰，给我鼓励，还有很多爱的老婆们。。我爱你们！！