its surprising how i feel like blogging now. Especially when i was trying sooo hard to produce that 1200 words essay. dosent' seem like alot for me last time I suppose. Guess I lost touch of Lit, or rather writing in General. OH well, this is the first individual assignment i've done since school started. And I would say it is pure mental exhaustion. Constantly looking at the word count and wonder " oh god, when is this gonna end?!?!" Used to love poems, not like i don't now, but not at the moment. it kinda scares me right now. hahahaha. cause i had been staring at the lines, over and over , over and over, trying to churn out something original. It was i would say, something quite original, since my puny brain work a different way from the others. somewhat twisted. HAHAH. Poem was the section where we usually score in school thanks to benevolent Mrs Teo, yes we all love her! Especially after receving Othelo and King Lear essays, I always feel like going over to Mrs Teo and give her a warm hug for the encouragement she gives in her marking.
Many more assignments to go! Can foresee more nerve wrecking sleepless nights. oh sigh oh sigh. My nose is still leaking perpetually. Keep sneezing i keep keep sneezing phglem. okay. that was a really bad attempt. HAHAHAHA. woops.
Here I am, looking damn cui, in my comfy teddy print PJ that my roomie dared me to wear out and parade at my block with the hall queen sash. ( no of course i did not. )but the thought of it was freaking hilarious. HAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!! i feel so cui.......
a little hungry, but no appetite and got no idea what to eat. Getting reall sick of fish soup already. its been just soup, soup and soup lately. wheres my oreo cheese cake??!!!! Thanks to Mr Poh and seohying, who has been constantly talking about food. i have many many cravings. LOL. like moist chocolate fudge cake and oreo cheese cake, oh dear, mega fattening!!!!! The food machines NEVER fail to bring up food in the conversation.
on a serious note, i've been reflecting a little, thinking a little....
about regrets. It seemed that we often do not treasure the things and people arouund us. we take things for granted, and we start to feel the pinch only when we find that, hey, its no longer around... they're no longer around... and we start to think of the what-might-have-beens, but its all too late isn't it?? we needa open up our eyes and see, oh no ,that wouldn't be enough, open up your eyes and feel for yourself, what we need to treasure, and appreciate them.
I'm somewhat passive. ok, quite passive, I realised. Inferiority complex still kicks in, every single time. I'm a walking contradition, thinking a step a head, and end up not doing anything due to fear. Perhaps i really need that pill; the confidence booster that i know, will not fail.
I feel my nature degradating somehow, after writing my essay. i condemn and critique, but i belong to the human race that i often criticise. We bastardise each other yes, and me myself, I'm part of this debasement. People may look prettier, but in fact, with each time of obsession and narcissism, we forget what others may need from us, and we turn into egoistic freaks who see no one but themselves. [did i go too far off again? ]
she sings a solitary song.
reaching out to the place where she belong.
The coarse voice is calling out,
gradually turned into shouts.
Yet no one hears any sound.
from that little girl who crouched.
pale cold white fingers,
that willed to be held.
yet no one was there to save her.
the door remained shut.
who remembered that little girl?
i think she never returned.
Yet no one bothers to search,
whatever shes left behind.
no ones got any idea what lurked.
what went through her mind.
Into the dark,
alone she was sent.
like a mail,
with no address
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