LOST

its not a good sign when im frequently up here.

because this means that i need a getaway.

who is Eileen?

what is she like?

lame? weird/eccentric?/short?/retarded?/foolish?/childish?

to some... i'm able to handle stuffs, able to talk sense into some, able to provide advice and assurance.

but i feel i'm lacking the power to assure,

because somehow i cant persuade myself that i will be fine in this world as well..

i like to be there for my friends.

but sometimes. its hard......

the feeling unexplanatory, and even unknown.

despite all the pilosophies of life i've vommited out...

despite all the flowery perceptions of mine...

i'm not what i say.

ok... im really drained. emotionally this time..






i need a fall back. just a firm shoulder to be there for me.
a smile i can think of when my day needs some light.
a warming embrace to dry the tears away.
to send the shivers away.
bringing my smiles back again.
an authentic smile.
someone to find my identity back.
to remove the layers of wall
and free me and my soul.