really tired

theres really so much work today, so one quick post before i start my endless night.

today i was really PMS-ing.. just don't feel right, especially in chinese class, where the passage we have to copy is just so friggin long.. and we ahd to write another 3-400 words!.. my nose was blockedat such a right time can.. and i was having the stupid cramps.. holding my bladder to complete the work.. and super hungry! everything was simply at the wrg time!! so i put up all my fringe and my classmates were thinking i was pschyed or smth.. hahhaa..
anyway.. thanks and sorry if you had to put up with my MSes.. hahha.. (:

haha.. went "shopping" with theresa.. and i begin to suspect myself!! since i've got such a loving wife.. LOL... yeah.. but.. no thanks. im gay.. i like guys (: hahaha..
but still lao po!! i love you like siao!!! ^^ and my other jiemeis and dearies (:

choir was ok today.. quite effective, coz i finally learnt the way and not know the things i need to do.. but how i can go about doing it.. like using singing voice.. i've been told upteen times tt i can even spout it in my dreams.. but i dunno how... but today.. was quite ok.. practiced in my bathroom.. i pity my neighbours.. sorry!!! hahaha..

yepp.. and tuition was tiring.. i fell asleep! in tuition.. and yanshan had to wake me up.. lol.. ok.. i shant sleep in tuition classes next time..

yay! hols coming soon!!! (:

jiayou guys!!!!

*sighs.. i dint see him recently.. not at the station even.. [pouts] *

moaning for all my school life..

too much tutorials!
too little time!
too little brain juice!
too little concentration..
too little energy......

sighss.... another 1.5 yrs.. tt is if i promote.. and i better i make sure i do...

yes... JIAYOU!! 0732 MUST PROMOTE TOGETHER!!!! (:

thugs.

hahah.. i was surprised by tt guy* lol...

ohh..n HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH MA!

flim fest

the chinese band was nice... in fact.. love the voices.. heart strings was reallyyy sweet! hahha (: rather emo tho.. lol... but the most impactful, was recurrence.. omg... its still haunting me right now.. very disturbed by tt show... yes.. VERY.. and wht did i just say i wanna do in my blog?? to be more yong gan.. (brave) look wht happened now =.=.. leen ahh leen... please stop being such a baby can?! i cant stand it ya knw?! anyway.. we got our first official class tee!!!rather tight for me... thought it could be the right size.. but.. hahha... hungry now.. haven had dinner... simplyhad no mood to go get dinner by my self...

pw later..
vivo city cip tmr..
sleep over tmr...
plus tons of tutorials... wow.. i love my weekend la.. =.=

insecurity.

feel misplaced and insecure sometimes...
but always feel loved by my dears(you knw who u are.. ^^)
thanks being ard (:

for now.. i needa rush off for tutorials!!!!
and... omg... dawnyang is drop dead gorgeous! yes... very..

我不想。。

我不想再那么脆弱，
不想轻易落泪。。
不想再毫无自信。
不想再是大家眼中的小女人而已。
我不想失去正在流逝的快乐。。
我不想因此放弃。。
我不想再绝望。。
不想失去那股热诚。。
不想，好多的不想。。
好多的泪水，好多的忧虑，
好多的谢谢，好多的对不起。。。

我，是个爱唱歌的我。
我，是个不会唱得我。
我，是个在五线谱遗失的音符。

我，其实像做我。

对不起，我会努力。我会加油，有一天，我会证明给自己，我不是个负荷，而是那美丽歌声一分子。

谢谢，那些给我拥抱，给我安慰，给我鼓励，还有很多爱的老婆们。。我爱你们！！

tired. but motivated!

its meet the parents today!!!
this is very different from my sec sch la...
coz in sec sch... PTC ( parent teacher conference) was under council's duty..
but this is like... own time own target sign up sheet thingy.. haahah.. yeahh
well... was quite nervous about it coz my grades suck and who knws wht pck will say..
given he is abit... you knw.. in our class.. hahaa..rather bimbotic and such.. haha..
but ended up was quite ok.. and my dad's quite "interactive".. LOL

I love the Lit room!!! (: the sleep before othello was by far the most comfortable sleep in school!!(thanks to amanda! ) hahha.. ok.. yeah.. so me, amanda, elaine n faith were hanging ard the lit room till around 8 plus den we finaly got our dinner!!! everyone was super hungry!!!! but, the wait was worth while.. coz we got to eat together..
i love girls talk...
but inferiority complex sorta creeps back now and den...
i knw im not likeable...
but i'll try to change..

so one of my wish, is to be a better person... (:
i'll try hard...

actually.... i dun always want to be a clown.... and all the world dun really loves a clown... but somehow.. im used to "entertaining" pple.. and sometimes/ most of the times.. it made me feel better when i see my frens happy, laughing... but sometimes... dun really work out.. or shld i say... back fire?! well, i dunno... i just want to be happy among happy frens...

and... i wanna be stronger... im like so weak and vulnerable... paranoid, sensitive and everything.... but... u cant expect a person to have ego/ confidence when from young he/she's not building up the heart walls with enough love that she needs...
it still pains me, even though its not very much... but in a corner of my little heart... something still thugs... some part of me is just missing.....

i wanna be stronger... not bullied anymore... not treated as a minority.. accepted by majority... maybe pple tell me that i am actually surrounded by many frens.. (i knw its true..) but... i am just very insecured....

okayy..i shldnt go on with this le...

pray for god to give me the strength and power to face this society. the courage,
the security and to be better person, better friend and better family member.

i hope.. it will be answered.

i believe..



im motivated to study..so i'm going off now...
take care guys...
thats all folks!

why why love ep 8!

Ep 8 part 1



Ep 8 part 2



Ep 8 Part 3



Ep 8 Part 4

ugly yet beautiful

my mid year results:
H2: Math, History, Lit
U,U,D
H1: Econs, GP, Chinese
U,E,B

my grades, ugly, yet beautiful...

emotional; when i shldnt be.

nights really make me emo abit. (yes, my emo-ness gone down greatly k! thanks to my dear gals! hahah)
ok.. to those who bullied/abused/demoralized me in those "memorable" 3 years..
thanks.. i won't forget your names, not that
i'm like ji-chouing... but... its still a dark phase of life, something i'll never forget...we learn in some occasions, fall in some occasions.. but many a times, this greatly affected my confidence, morale and esteem..

so bullies out there... if you are one yourself... trust me..please treat people around you better!!!

ok.. so Sir Ian McKellen came and took away my breathe,.. hahha.. (i was really hyped up the whole day about having the chance to see him!! thanks GP n LIT dept! ^^) yepp... hes one amazing man... going to watch King Lear tmr and Seagull (rmb to blame the actors, not the writer!) the day after (Weekends).. his theory abt acting, the imptance of pocket, him being real, him being really honest and brave to stand up for his sexuality. (whts wrg with that anyway?! ) , the Sir thomas speech abt strangers,... every little thing he said, all his little actions will be most certainly engraved in many of our hearts today.. the 100++ of us... and him... owning the same Othello t shirt as our fellow casts and lit students... woah man.. todays one BLASTI-LICIOUS day!!!

somehow... i read a few blogs here and there...
i've been pondering about the same thing.....
the answer now unimportant....
everything dint really matter in the very end....
people say we learn through process..
yes.. i did learn 2 huge lessons....
1) confidential
2) private.

initially, i thought things wld turned out easier, but i realised, nth seemed any easier...
finally, i conclude that these things i once cared so much for, the love i've always been waiting and finding, all seemed mundane now.

i saw this coming, but humanity didnt stop me from preventing. we're humans, like we knw fries cause us to die early.. most of us still love it right?! hahha.. weird metaphor.. but.. yeah... dosent it make sense? or not..

i love my dearies i have now... all my dear friends, family....
i dun feel alone now... but somehow... at some point of time...
inferiority complex take its toll on me...
a voice ringing at the back of my head..
wht are u good at??
you are not wanted here...
laughs turned sinister,
words turn scarsm.
i cant forget,
wht had hurt,still hurts
wht i feared, still remain a fear.

lastly, i MISS CHOIR!

breathe.

if i blew into paper bags, i bet i would have burst 5. i was on the brink of bursting as well...
all the stress and work load all weighing down on me... stress is good at some point of time...
crying also makes u feel better... have a good scream and now... its time for me to get back to work.. just needa rant it out...

i seriously cant take stress.. so i wondered many times why im in jc... but i believe poly is not much different too.. depending on ur course that is..

ok.. jiayou pple! tmr's the dead line for WR V1! JIAYOU

the world's so small i realised.

tired..

yay!!!! its the 9th July!!! hahah..
only heaven knws why im waiting for this date (:

i gave my mum a shock..
i popped her a question one day...
wht happens if im more interested in girls?
i asked on MRT...
and she gave a very over reaction
hahah... she said she'll kill me!!!
funny la her reaction..
but! no worries.. i believe im 100% straight!
LALA.. if u're reading this... YES I AM LA!!HAHAH

omg... im so excited about ep 6!!! i love that show!!!

i was constipated..but not anymore coz...

i live a shit life in case for those who have been thinking that i lead a good one. hahha.. i believe most pple's life are quite shity.. its just which area it shitted in or how many times it shitted.. hahaha... i sound shitty and this whole piece of shit is a lame shit... so i should just stop shitting and keep all the shit to myself..

enough of the shit? LOL...

i need to be sent to pulau bukom! ( 4I-ers should knw wht im talking about. hahha )

tmr's another JO execution.... another shooting session by the yellow boots man... argghhh

totally dun like it...

ENTHUSIASM!

wu gui di is going for reservist tmr!!! will miss him like siao...!! even though hes such a mean person.. i still miss him.. hahha... i wonder if hes in the same camp as Mao la... i think so? coz i dun think theres no 2 camps who reservist in the same week? hahah...

im zooming off to sleep soon!!!!

shopping tmr! (:

ohh.. and surprisingly.. i actually saw a fren from my old place la! how coincidental can tt be? since its some ulu place... hahha... ok.. not exactly..but none whom i knew will wanna go there... oohh... i saw matthew kang! hahha.. weird reaction i've got.. i just called out his name plus surname.. dunno why...

been bumping into pple no matter where i go.. hahha.. good ? bad? LOL

sorry... but im an INTROVERT. cant handle much of these things well..

hahha...

eyes shut..

be blessed

nights

left.

im crazy

i got crazy today...
no it wasnt me if u saw me at PS today..
it was the stupid twin of mine..
the stupid twin had zero ability of containing her emotions and whtsoever.

for the happy things...
firstly! i saw BRANSON n SHERHAN! haha... (sorry ahh!! ) yeah yeah.. they were with their guitars... going play pool and guitar i guess.. hahaa.. and they got talent spotted... deets pls refer to the 2 main charac. LOL... anyway.. PS is like the common hangout for us i guess.. hahha.
i saw my jiemeis.. ok. just one.. PEiSHAN!! haha..
yeahh.. and her dear.. with stewart, ping n raymond, and the rest of their friends..
dint see vivian tho... hahaha..
anyway.. after seeing em...smth hit me... i dunno wht.. but a feelin just washed over..
i was feelin very stressed up abt me screwing up the meeting with my cuzins...
so stressed up i thought i wanted to run home...
but.. i guess i was too emotional abt tt??! hahaha .. yeah..

for the crap things..
i was snuggling in my blankie... blowing tissues and trying to comprehend my stupid laser articles..
sorry mates!! i'll finish my part before sunday night.... yeahh.. my eyes are hot and its getting heavy... so...ciao!!!

i NEED sleep...

curls.

i like this photo!!! it don't look like a mirror right?? i love my cam! hahah

i look OLDD....
i think this pic is cool.. hahha.. my bro asked me how i took the photo when im holding the camera like that.. ><

so? curls or straight??

4I chalet!!!

before wild wild wet!!
patience pple.. hahah.. i like Sj's n the 2nd row's pose
(chou + mei ) 女
pyro.shan.me!!! yawns..
Kamilah's sis!!! KE AI RIGHT??!!!

my precious darlinggs.. (:

its hard to fit everyone in since siong's ard. hahha! dun kill me~ im kidding!! (:
haha!! ys ahh... dun so fierce can.. LOL
memories. fadin? no man.. its fresh, coloured, glossy.. kept in my heart
this is the coolest thing abt chooyeow's phone!

Way Back into Love

Artist: Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore
Song: Way Back Into Love
Haley:Ive been living with a shadow over head
Ive been sleepin with a cloud above my bed
ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just cant seem to move on

Hugh:I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just incase I ever need them again someday
Ive been setting aside time,
to clear a little space in the cornners of my mind

chorus:All I want to do is find a way back into love
I cant make it through without a way back into love
ohh

Haley:I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
Ive been searching but I just dont see the signs
I know that its out there
Theres got to be something for my soul somewhere

Hugh:I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody to get me through the night
I could use some direction, and I'm open to your suggestions

ChrousAll I want to do is find a way back into love
I cant make it through without a way back into love
and If I open my heart again
I guess Im hopin you'll be there for me in the end

Haley:There are moments when I dont know if its real
or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration, not just another negotiation

Chorus:All I want to do is find a way back into love
I cant make it through without a way back into love
and If I open my heart to you
Im hopin you'll show me what to do
and if you help me to start again
you know that I'll be there for u in the end

*love the song, love the movie.
love the MUSIC and love the LYRICS*

MATH

i have a stupid math paper later. so just bless me with all the knowledge which i dun have and need(which is practically everything) hah.

wheres my motivation!!!!????

okiee... i'll go update my wretch soon!! (:

and lastly. the end was marked! (: ^^
jiayou pple! for mids and whtever there is..

pieces of me.

Father's Day 07'

HAHA!! my dad fell asleep(he can sleep anywhere.LOL) he dint even wake at the flash.

oohh.. hes awake.. hahaha

Ah Ma and daddy.. at New Park Hotel.. the food there is WOW. hahah

Candid of my Uncle. hahaha.

ME and MUMMY!

hahah. i left out my bro and cuzins becoz they came late.. (: yummy yummy! i wanna go eat again!

太多的感触。。
字迹烙印在纸上。
每一画都带着泪水。
每一行都显示着寂寞。

诺言变成谎言。
奇迹不再出现。
单纯的世界里
也不会有你的踪影

沉默的背后，
隐藏着大大的痛
没人会了解
只能独自承受。

《爱情经纪约》

假扮的人生
戏份已经落幕的青春
还站在后台等
等下齣戏的对白
如何继续扮演我们
我默背剧本
试图先行找出
那个对的人。